Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong Today
by motorized-sasquatch
Summary: It isn't that Scorpius Malfoy doesn't like his best mate's cousin because she's a Weasley.  It's that he doesn't like her because she's a bloody lunatic!  A bloody lunatic convinced that he's her soulmate.
1. Setting the Tone

So, I haven't written anything in a really long time. I want to go back and finish my Kim Possible story, but I'm afraid of going back to that when I've been out of the fanfic game for so long. So, I'm doing this bit of silliness as a warm-up, I guess. I really enjoy Harry Potter. The 'next-gen' kids fascinate me too, so I'm writing about them.

Anyways, I don't own anything related to Harry Potter, JK Rowling, Sonic the Hedgehog, processed pork products, or the Yaskawa Corporation. I do own a 1990 Volvo 740 Turbo wagon, a small black-and-white cat, and some really cool HVAC tools...but those have nothing to do with this story.

* * *

Scorpius Malfoy strode through the Hogwarts Express, oozing confidence and class with each step of his highly-polished black dragonhide shoes.

_'Finally off to Hogwarts! This is going to be bloody brilliant! I'm going to learn so many charms and spells and hexes, and I'll be the most powerful wizard of my age! And I finally get to leave that dusty old manor! Oh yes, things are definitely looking up for me...I feel as though nothing could possibly go wrong today!'_

It was Scorpius' maiden voyage to Hogwarts on the Express, and he was thrilled at the prospect of it. Seven years of magic, seven years of making new friends, snogging girls, casting spells...he couldn't wait!

But before any of that could happen, he needed to find a bloody seat already!

_'Cursed mum, she kept kissing me and hugging me; wouldn't let me leave and get on the bleeding train...crying over how her 'baby' is leaving her! How embarrassing! I'm a wizard now, I can't have my mum hanging onto me where all of my future classmates can see it...' _

It was also thanks to his mother's fawning that Scorpius was the last firstie to get on the train, and now he couldn't find a place to sit. Scorpius listened to the thrum of the trains wheels on the tracks and the patter of rain against the sides and tops of the carriages as he walked along.

_'Ruddy train...how do they fit so many students onto it anyway? Oh, wait a tick...I think this one has some space.'_

Scorpius noisily threw the door open with a flourish, causing the two occupants of the car to jump in alarm, sending several exploding snap cards flying.

_'Oh shite! Perhaps that wasn't the best idea...'_ thought Scorpius as he realized that he was now face-to-face with the children of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, the two kids his father had _specifically_ told him to be wary of while they were at King's Cross.

The Potter boy looked just like his father, and _everyone_ who wasn't blind knew what _he_ looked like. You couldn't take three steps into any magical library without being bombarded by books featuring the life and times of Harry Potter, complete with photos from nearly every year of his life.

The girl, on the other hand, didn't look like anyone Scorpius knew. She had a freckly face, a long nose, and a bushy mop of red hair that seemed to have a life of it's own, judging by how it wiggled and wobbled about at the slightest motions the girl made.

_'Oh, sod it. I'm tired of looking for a seat. What could they possibly do to me anyway? I'm no coward.' _

Not even bothering to ask if any seats were available, Scorpius strode in with his incredibly confident air and sat down at the unoccupied seat nearest the window. Only after he'd smoothed himself out did he make his introductions.

"I'm Scorpius H. Malfoy, and this is my first year." he said as smoothly as possible. Scorpius extended his hand to the bespectacled boy that sat across from him.

"Albus...uh, S. Potter, and I'm a first year too." replied the boy, shaking Scorpius' hand in a wary way. "And that's my cousin, Rose Weasley."

Scorpius looked at the girl, and took her in.

When he'd called her 'freckly' earlier, he hadn't done her justice. Scorpius wondered if a person could have more freckles than they did unblemished skin without having some sort of condition. As he looked down, he could see brightly rainbow-colored socks peeking out from under her school robes, and there were several odd bangles and baubles around her wrists. She was also wearing a pair of earrings that were made out of butterbeer corks, which Albus would later tell him were a gift from 'Madam Luna', whoever she was.

She'd also not said a word since Scorpius had made his entrance, and was staring at him intently.

"Uh...hello?" Scorpius tried.

Rose still said nothing.

He turned to Albus. "Is she okay?"

"You're pretty." Rose spoke for the first time. Scorpius noted that her voice was as loud as her socks.

"...excuse me?"

"You're really pretty. Like a girl." she repeated. which immediately set Scorpius to fuming.

_'Pretty? Pretty like a girl! Men aren't pretty! I'M NOT BLOODY PRETTY! I'm...handsome. Manly. Masculine! A ruggedly masculine manly-man is what I am! My bollocks practically scratch themselves, I'm so bloody manly! Who does this barmy bint think she is?'_

Before Scorpius could inform the barmy bint of any of these empirical facts about himself and his manly bollocks, she continued speaking in her loud voice.

"I wish I were as pretty as you. My uncle Bill keeps telling me I'm 'a handsome girl' but I say that only boys are handsome. Besides, he married a Veela so he has absolutely _no _credibility when it comes to judging real beauty..."

"I'm not pretty!" Scorpius finally ground out.

"Oh, of course you are, silly! Just look at how high your cheekbones are. And you've got nice pretty blonde hair too, just like my cousin Dominique. Plus your nose is so cute and delicate..." Rose looked like she wanted to reach over and touch it. "Someone as pretty as you should really have higher self-esteem. It's the first step towards self-actualization, you know."

Scorpius just growled, his face growing red. Albus was shaking with barely contained laughter.

"Anywho, I'm Rose Weasley with no middle initial, and I'm a firstie too. I can't wait to get to Hogwarts...I hear the sorting ceremony feast is _amazing_ and I'm really hungry..."

"You're always hungry." piped Albus.

As if reading Rose's thoughts, the compartment door slid open and the snack trolley lady poked her head in.

"Anything from the trolley, dears?"

Scorpius purchased a box of Bertie Bott's Every-flavor Beans to nibble. Albus bought a chocolate frog and a licquorish wand.

Rose bought three pumpkin pasties, two chocolate frogs, and a sugar quill "for dessert."

_'Bloody Nora...the nutter weighs...what? 80lbs? Where is she going to put it all? Everything she eats must go to her hair...that's the only explanation for it.' _thought Scorpius as he watched Rose viciously tear into her food.

"Mmmff! Ooooh! I lovsh theesh thingsh!" moaned Rose as she took a giant bite of her pumpkin pasty and began talking with her mouth full, bits of pumpkin falling into her lap as she did. When she noticed Scorpius' slack-jawed stare, she spoke again. "Oh, did shyoo want shome?" she asked as she held the bitten pasty out to him, complete with a very thin trail of saliva leading from the pasty to her mouth.

To Scorpius' credit, only about half of the revulsion he felt actually made it to his face. "Pass."

Rose just shrugged and resumed her noisy chewing.

"So Scorpius, which house do you hope to be sorted into?" asked Albus as he polished off his first frog and looked for polite conversation.

Scorpius grimaced a bit, but answered honestly. "The family house is Slytherin, _as I'm sure you know_, so I'd be pleased with that. But, I will trust the sorting hat's judgement, probably. Maybe. Possibly."

Albus nodded. "Hoping for Gryffindor myself. My git of an older brother says I'll be going to Slytherin, though."

"Would that be bad?" asked Scorpius with a raised eyebrow. Albus gulped.

"W-w-well, I don't think I'd hate Slytherin or anything. It's just that my whole family is Gryff, you know. I don't want to be the odd one out."

"I see."

While this conversation was happening, Rose had gotten up and made her way to the window.

"What are you doing?" asked Scorpius, wary of _anything_ the crazy redhead might do.

"It's warm." she said simply, as she began prying at the window.

"Uh, Rosie? This train goes rather fast, and it's raining outside. I'm not sure if..."

Albus never got to finish his sentence.

"Just a little...oomph! There!" cried Rose triumphantly as she threw the compartment's window open.

And a hurricane-blast of wind and water blew in. Pasty wrappers, exploding snap cards, and Bertie Botts' beans flew about the compartment in a whirlwind of colorful, exploding debris.

"AAAARGH! Bloody...WEASLEY YOU DOLT!" screamed Scorpius as he was hit by the blast. He attempted to shield his eyes with his arm.

Rose had fallen to the floor in surprise, leaving Scorpius and Albus to attempt to close the sticky window.

"No, don't pull on it...that's opening it more, you idiot!"

"Push!"

"OW! My fingers!"

"Sorry."

"THERE!"

As soon as the window was closed, Scorpius rounded on Rose.

"What in the name of Merlin's beard is wrong with you?" he yelled.

"Um...heh...oops?" Rose looked _very_ sheepish.

"Bloody nora...everything's wet. And my beans are all gone. Oh well, I'm sure you aren't warm _now, _ are you, _Weasley?" _Scorpius glared.

"Gosh, I'm sorry, Scorpius! I didn't mean any harm, I just wasn't thinking I suppose..."

"Really?" Scorpius rolled his eyes. "And here I thought you'd carefully planned every move."

"You don't need to be sarcastic, you big mean...poo-face!" snapped Rose childishly. "If it bothers you that much, I'll clean all this up!"

Rose drew her wand.

Scorpius' mind immediately went into panic mode. Rose had proved to be destructive enough on her own. He didn't want to imagine what damage she could do with a wand in her hand."

"Oh...uh...heh-heh, on second thought, this really isn't so bad. The water is quite, y'know...refreshing! And wet. Yes, I think that was just what we needed...a brisk, cool, wet thunderstorm...inside the train..." rambled Scorpius as he tried to edge as far away from Rose's wand as possible.

"Nonsense! I can fix this. My mum taught me a bunch of charms. She was the brightest witch of her age, you know." tutted Rose.

"And when it comes to wand work, you're probably the dimmest." murmured Albus under his breath.

Of course, there was no way the Potters and Weasleys would've allowed their children to practice underaged magic. With Hermione Weasley as the head of Magical Law Enforcement, that was exactly the sort of bad example they _shouldn't_ have been setting.

Right.

"Now, what should I do first? Dry the water up or clean up the debris?" Rose looked about, before her eyes settled on Scorpius' shivering form.

A grin.

"I know! I'll fix that pretty hair of yours!" she exclaimed as though it were the greatest idea anyone had ever had.

Scorpius scowled. His formerly pristine, blonde, earlobe-length hair was in a wet disarray on his head, sticking every which way.

"Let's see, I think the spell was..." began Rose.

The scowl quickly gave way to look of great fear. _'Oh Merlin, I've got to get out of here right now!' _thought a panicked Scorpius.

As Scorpius began edging towards the door, Rose idly waved her wand about trying to remember the appropriate charms. As she did, a burst of magic shot out of it and hit Scorpius in the head, causing him to scream and shield himself with his hands.

A second later, he opened his eyes and slowly dropped his hands.

He was still alive.

And his hair was moving.

Scorpius turned to look at his reflection in the mirror, only to find that his hair had been replaced with hundreds of tiny, wiggling snakes.

"WAAAAAAAUUUUGH!"

"Shite! Let me try again."

*Poof!*

Pink feathers.

"Weasley."

"No, that's not right! I could've sworn it was pronounced..."

*Poof!*

Scorpius' hair was now replaced with tiny, multicolored wildflowers.

"Weasley..."

"Oh! Well, that's rather festive, isn't it? One more time..." Rose screwed her face up in concentration and stuck her tongue out.

*Poof!*

Now, Scorpius' hair was returned to it's usual length, style, thickness, and texture.

Only, it was a blindingly bright blue. Which clashed horribly with his enraged red face.

"WEASLEY!"

Rose looked up to see Scorpius forcibly keeping his breathing under control, with his eyes closed and his fists clenched.

"Weasley. If you don't want me to kill you with my bare hands right now, I suggest you put the wand away and sit your arse down." he ground out through gritted teeth.

Rose, being bright enough to recognize impending death when it spat upon her shoes, quietly did as she was told with her eyes wide.

Scorpius sank back into his seat, still breathing deeply in an attempt to calm himself.

On the other side of the carriage, the sight of Scorpius' new hair was the final straw for Albus, who had been fighting laughter all the while.

He fell out of his seat and began to roll in the floor in hysterics.

"Oh my god! Your hair...and...snakes...looked like a bouquet...hahahahaha!"

Scorpius just glowered.

"I'm glad you find this funny, Potter."

Apart from Albus' snickering, the rest of the train ride to Hogsmeade Station was conducted in an awkward silence.

_'Well, I FELT like nothing could possibly go wrong today. Clearly, I was mistaken.'_ thought a thoroughly put-out Scorpius Malfoy as he listened to Albus try to hold his laughter in.

* * *

During the boat ride and then walk to the famous castle, no fewer than three people asked if Scorpius was a metamorphmagus when they saw his bright blue hair.

When the third person asked, Scorpius' frustration at the day's events finally overcame him completely and he screamed at her, sending the poor girl, who he later learned was named Alice Longbottom, away in fearful tears.

* * *

At the sorting ceremony, the hat sent Albus and Rose to Gryffindor, as was to be expected.

Nobody was surprised when the hat sent Scorpius to Slytherin. Of course, Scorpius refused to be sorted until _after_ Headmistress Minerva McGonagall fixed the damage Rose had done to his hair.

When it happened, the silence of the ceremony was broken by somebody – Rose – shouting from Gryffindor table.

"_Oi! Malfoy! Why didn't you ask to come over to Gryffindor with us? We're your friends, you big mean poo-face!" yelled Rose as Scorpius made his way confidently to the Slytherin table. _

Even as the hall erupted into laughter that had to be shouted down by Headmistress McGongall, Scorpius scoffed at the word 'friends.' The girl had to be out of her mind.

That the hat had originally planned to put Scorpius in Gryffindor, and that Scorpius had begged it to place him in Slytherin just so he wouldn't have to share a house with the redheaded lunatic who'd made his first train ride to Hogwarts such an ordeal was a secret that Scorpius was to take to his grave.

* * *

In first year, Scorpius almost never got to eat at the Slytherin table with his housemates.

Every day Rose would make him sit with her and Albus at the Gryffindor table. Sometimes she'd drag him over by force, and others she'd threaten to 'fix' his hair with her wand. Eventually he started going straight to the Gryffindor table by default, without even attempting to sit at Slytherin.

Eating with the Gryffindors did wonders for Scorpius' relationship with Albus, who quickly became his best mate.

He still couldn't stand Rose. Rose, on the other hand, seemed to consider Scorpius one of her best friends, and herself one of Scorpius' dearest friends as well, much to his perpetual irritation.

Of course, that wasn't nearly as irritating as Rose eating half of his food at every meal.

The rest of the Weasley-Potter clan (all Gryffindors, natch) were initially wary of the young Malfoy. However, when they saw his friendship with Albus, his general harmlessness apart from his smart-arsed mouth, and the way Rose made him constantly do things against his will, the wariness became bemused familiarity and Scorpius was welcomed into their group.

Scorpius found most of the Weasleys and Potters to be an alright bunch. Except for that irritation called Rose.

* * *

In second year, Rose set Scorpius on fire during Potions.

She _claimed_ it was an accident.

"_Dammit, Weasley! Have you lost your mind?" yelped Scorpius as he removed his robe as quickly as he could and began stomping on it to put out the flames. The flames that were a result of a cauldron explosion, which itself was a result of what Scorpius Malfoy considered to be Rose's complete ineptitude at Potions, Magic, and Life Itself. _

"_It was an ACCIDENT, Scorpius!" she sniffed. _

"_ACCIDENT? I told you not to add all of that pickled newt skin, and you did anyway! That's not an accident at all! That's the complete opposite of an accident! Why the bloody hell did you do it in the first place?" raged Scorpius. _

"_Becuzmfftooseehappn." mumbled Rose. _

"_What?"_

_"Because I wanted to see what would happen." she muttered. _

_Scorpius began to repeatedly beat his head upon the table. "I don't know how I managed to get YOU for a potions partner, but it must be some sort of karmic punishment." he groaned. _

"_Oh, don't be so dramatic. It's not like I killed you or anything." said Rose breezily._

_The rest of the class could only stare in awkward amusement at what was transpiring between the straight-faced Slytherin and the flighty Gryffindor. _

"_Ahem!"_

_Both Rose and Scorpius turned to see Potions Master Tracey Davis looming over them. _

"_As amusing as this little lover's spat is, I'm afraid I'm going to have to deduct house points. Rose, 70 points from Gryffindor for ignoring the potion instructions, wasting newt skins, blowing up your cauldron, and setting fire to your potions partner."_

_The Gryffindors in the class hissed, while Rose tried to shrink. _

"_And Scorpius, that will be 10 points from Slytherin for making a scene in class, and for generally being a whinger."

* * *

_

In third year, Scorpius Malfoy issued a genuine, if extremely late apology to Alice Longbottom for screaming at her on the very first day.

"_Are you finally feeling some remorse for that after two years, or is there another reason you're apologizing to me?" asked Alice with a raised eyebrow. _

"_Perhaps...both?" replied Scorpius with a grin. _

"_Go on."_

"_Well...I was thinking the best way to apologize to someone would be to...take them to the next Hogsmeade outing? And, while we're at it, treat them to lunch, butterbeers, and maybe even some sweets from Honeydukes." Scorpius flashed his most winning smile as he said it. _

_Alice blushed a bit, but still seemed hesitant. _

"_If I promised not to scream at you if my hair turns blue, would that help you decide?" asked Scorpius with a wink._

_Alice couldn't stop a fit of giggles, and soon agreed to let Scorpius take her on the upcoming Hogsmeade trip. _

A week later, Scorpius could say with certainty that he had his first girlfriend.

He always made sure to keep Rose away from Alice. The two never seemed to get along.

It was also in third year when Rose Weasley began to date Lorcan Scamander. It only made sense. He was quite possibly the only person in the school who was flightier and barmier than Rose.

Albus was not thrilled with Rose's new relationship. Scorpius thought it was the best news of his life.

"_I just don't know, Scorp. They're both so...free spirited and irresponsible. I'm afraid they're going to hurt each other someday." sighed Albus to his best mate. _

"_I disagree. I think it's great that Rose and Silly Salamander are dating. And I hope it lasts a long, long time."_

"_Are you kidding me?" burst out Albus. "He's such a...such a...loon. The other day I saw him standing on his head by the lake in nothing but his underwear and necktie, and when I asked what he was doing he said it would attract the 'snargling wimbleskimbies' out of the water."_

_Scorpius just laughed. _

"_I'm serious, Scorpius. I don't think I like this."_

"_I think it's great. In fact, I think it's wonderful. I hope they date for years and years and get married and make lots of ridiculous, idiotic babies." replied Scorpius. _

"_Why!"_

"_Simple. As long as Rose is dating Scamander, that means she won't be nearly as able to direct her weirdness at any other targets. Namely, me." _

_Albus just rolled his eyes.

* * *

_

In fourth year, Scorpius and Alice stopped seeing each other. It wasn't an ugly breakup that generated gossip and drama through the halls of Hogwarts, but merely two people drifting apart as they changed with age.

Scorpius was disappointed, but recovered. He agreed that the two of them didn't really make sense as a couple anymore. Alice was to remain a friend for the rest of his time at Hogwarts, but nothing else.

The two of them were able to hold onto fond, untainted memories of their first loves.

Scorpius began to date other girls; nothing serious, just some dates here and snogging there, all in good fun. But every time, it seemed like something was missing. The girls just weren't...exciting. Instead, they just seemed dull and lacking in a certain...spark.

* * *

It was to the surprise of everyone that Rose's relationship with Lorcan Scamander lasted until their fifth year at Hogwarts. Nobody expected the two nuttiest students in the school to keep a relationship together for that long.

However, it was also to the surprise of nobody that the relationship ended during their fifth year at Hogwarts, not long after Rose's sixteenth birthday.

"_God Lorcan, I just don't get you! You're more interested in looking for your bloody barking barfblobbies or whatever they are than you are in spending time with me. Or even shagging me! Shagging. You know, sex? Penis in vagina? Feels quite nice for both parties? Comprendre?"_

"_It is unwise to join one's body to another when the moon and the stars aren't aligned into their proper orbits. It leaves a person vulnerable to having their brains eaten by the moon sprites." replied Lorcan in his airy voice. _

_Rose rubbed her temples. "Lorcan, I'm not sure if this is going to work anymore..."_

By the next day, word of Rose and Lorcan's breakup had completely gone around the school.

_

* * *

_

And that's where Scorpius Malfoy's troubles _really_ began.

* * *

EWW! The cliched 'on the train' first chapter!

From here on out, the rest of the story takes place from fifth year on, with our three heroes all being sixteen and up.

I'm not sure why I characterized Scorpius and Rose as I did. Maybe I've just read too many stories involving SneeringSlytherinSexGod!Scorpius and GryffindorVirginNerd!Rose so I tried to get away from that.

I rather like ExasperatedEveryman!Scorpius and GoofyClumsyKook!Rose.

I'm not sure how many chapters this one will have. Probably a few.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Soulmates

A chapter two, just for you, dear reader! The usual disclaimers about me not owning Harry Potter/not doing this for profit/etc apply.

* * *

"Albus, you need to stop being my cousin." announced Rose Weasley (officially single for three months!) as she marched up to her cousin/best friend, who was enjoying his lunch in the Hogwarts dining hall.

Albus looked up and raised an eyebrow as he took Rose in with his bright green eyes. Like all of the students, Albus had changed a great deal since his first year. Gone were the messy hair and the large glasses, replaced with a slicked-back style and a charm that corrected his vision. In spite of being on the shortish side for a fifth year, he'd grown rather broad shoulders and a strong upper body, just like his older brother James', which were probably a result of both genetics and his position on the Gryffindor quidditch team as one of their beaters.

"And why must I be disowned from the family, Rose?" asked Albus, already knowing that whatever answer he got was going to be weird. Even more weird than the unashamedly 80's side-ponytail Rose was wearing her hair in that day. He watched as Rose folded her very long legs so she could sit next to him.

Now very tall and wiry, Rose Weasley's exceptionally long limbs only made her more awkward and clumsy than she had been at 11. Of course, it also meant her legs looked amazing in a skirt, which she was thankful for, since her upper body assets didn't do much for filling out the Hogwarts uniform. Other than that, she was the same old Rose. Same bushy mane of red hair, same long nose, same bright blue eyes, and the same splattering of freckles.

"Because if we weren't family, then you could be my lover." said Rose as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, causing Al to cough on his pumpkin juice.

"What?"

"You could totally be my lover! You're cute, you're fun, you're smart...enough, and you tolerate me! How could I possibly go wrong with you?" said Rose as she ticked off Albus' good points on her fingers. "If you weren't my cousin I'd have no qualms about bashing you over the head and dragging you off to my lair."

Albus rolled his eyes. "Since when have wizards ever hesitated to marry their cousins? Especially the ones who want to keep the blood pure. If we were a couple of rich purebloods, we'd have three kids already."

Albus wasn't sure if Rose missed the sarcasm in his voice, or if she purposely ignored it.

"Oh... you're right! You're still an option! Brilliant!"

"Of course, there would be other problems." replied Al in a mock-serious tone.

"Like what?"

"Well, for starters, I think Alice would probably have your head. I don't think she wants to share."

At the beginning of fifth year, Scorpius had set his ex-girlfriend up on a blind Hogsmeade date with Albus. He'd felt that the two of them would appreciate each other more than he and Alice had. So far, he'd been correct. Albus Potter and Alice Longbottom were rather smitten with one another.

"Pff, I could totally take her on." replied Rose with a wave of her hand. "My dad was an Auror, he's taught me all kinds of dueling tricks."

"My dad is _still_ an Auror, and he says the only person you're likely to disable in a duel is yourself." replied Albus with a smirk.

"Oh really? Watch this!"

Rose quickly drew her wand and attempted to cast a hex, right there in the Great Dining Hall.

Albus watched in morbid fascination as a burst of purple light blew out of Rose's wand and streaked straight across the room towards the Slytherin table, where it caused Ed Goyle's rather sizable plate of roast beef and potatoes to erupt spectacularly, sending them splattering all over Ed and everyone else sitting nearby.

Rose immediately slumped down into her seat next to Al's and tried to hide her face.

When she caught Albus' amused 'I-told-you-so' look, she angrily hissed "Oh, shut up you! I meant to do that!"

"You were very effective in neutralizing the threat posed by the roast beef." agreed Al. "That said, in an epic duel for my love, I'm fairly certain that Alice would knacker your kneazle. Plus, there's an even bigger problem."

"Oh? What might that be?" Asked Rose from her position half-hidden under the table.

"It would completely ruin our friendship." said in only the most mocking of mock-serious tones.

Rose gasped. "Oh merlin, you're right! We're such good friends...best friends! It would be such a shame to ruin what we already have. I'm sorry, Al but I can't be your fiery redheaded lover _now_. It's not you, it's me...we just wouldn't work out."

"Great, now that _that's _ been settled, I can ask you an important question." replied Al with another roll of his eyes and a slight shake of his head.

"Go ahead."

"Why are you looking for a _lover_ in the Hogwarts dining room?"

"AAAAAL! I've been broken-up for nearly three months now!" whined Rose. "Split, from a boyfriend who refused to even _touch _me! I need to heal that blow to my self-esteem! I need a distraction from the sorrows of my failed relationship! I need a rebound! I need some _bloody good shagging!"_

Several male residents of Hogwarts turned their heads at Rose's outburst.

"Oh, not from any of you." she waved her hand dismissively.

"Sorrow of your failed relationship? If I remember correctly, _you_ were the one who dumped Scamander." Al pointed out.

"Oh please, I don't think he even cared when I did. Besides, I spent _a year_ trying to get him to do anything more than hold my hand. We only shagged _once! Ever! _ It's not like I was some sex-maniac, but a girl has _needs _sometimes. I thought getting girls was all boys our age thought about."

"I don't know if Lorcan counts as a 'boy', Rose. I think he barely qualifies as 'human' if we're honest."

Rose groaned and put her head on the table.

"Why didn't you just go shag somebody else then?" asked Albus with his mouth full of broccoli. "I have it on good authority that you're one of the top-10 most shaggable girls in Hogwarts."

"Well, for start...wait, _what_? Good authority? What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Rose looked confused.

"Calum McClaggen posted a list in the third floor boy's loo." clarified Al.

"And I'm only in the top 10? Feh! I think I rate top-5 at least." Rose flicked her hair. "Wait, who was the next girl ahead of me?"

"Gertie Bulstrode-Fletchley."

"WHAT! She's got beady eyes! And she weighs about fourteen stone!" squawked Rose.

"Yeah, but ten of those stone are in her bra." replied Albus. "Back on topic, Lorcan wouldn't shag you, why not just go get laid somewhere else?"

"Ugh! Al, come on! I'm not a prude or anything, but I'm _definitely _not a girl like, like..."

At that moment, Daisy Parkinson walked past, turning up her puggy nose at Rose and Albus as she did.

"..._that_, who's willing to just shag whatever, whenever." finished Rose with a hint of distaste.

"So, when you walked in here earlier saying you needed a new lover, it was only in the most monogamous sense?" Al raised an eyebrow.

"That's right! A steamy affair...with a person who doesn't see any other girls. It's the perfect plan!"

"For you, maybe." snorted Al.

"I like to think he'd be getting equal benefits." grumbled Rose.

"And all this bloke has to do is sometimes shag you and nobody else, or will he have other duties?"

"Of course not. He could snog me in the library while pretending to help me with my homework...tell me I'm beautiful when I'm feeling fat and ugly...maybe take me to Hogsmeade...make me feel better when I'm sad..." rambled Rose.

"So, you're looking for another boyfriend, then?" replied Albus.

Rose perked up. "Hey...yeah! Another boyfriend. A _good_ boyfriend who doesn't wander off for a week to look for things that don't exist or get weird when I try to snog him...that's what I want!"

"You're a role model for independent women everywhere." murmured Albus.

"Meh. Most of those blokes and birds who go through life acting like they're too cool or too distant or too strong or whatever to have a partner are really just too loser-ish to find someone." said Rose flippantly.

"Right." Albus was doing a lot of eye-rolling today. "So, there are lots of blokes around Hogwarts, just pick one."

"It's not that simple! Selecting a good boyfriend is a delicate matter, Albus!"

"How so?"

"He just has to be...right." sighed Rose. "You know it when you find it."

"You saw Lorcan for almost two years, Rose. You must've liked something about him, even though he wasn't 'right'." pointed out Albus.

"Well, of course he had his...good points, I guess." admitted Rose.

"Like..?"

"He was always very sure of himself, even as weird as he was." began Rose. "And he was very smart, for such a spacey boy. Ravenclaw, you know. He also didn't mind my...quirks."

Albus laughed. "_Quirks_ indeed."

"Shush! What else...Lorcan was always very kind and sweet. Considering how many cavemen like McClaggen seem to learn magic in this school, that was welcome. And, on top of it all, I liked his smile... and I was very attracted to him...physically."

"So, confident, intelligent, funny, warm, and someone you want to shag...your standards are so different from most women's, Rose." Albus smirked as he said it. "Still, how hard can it be to find a guy who gets your stamp of approval?"

"Harder than you think!"

"Though, I think if you do manage to find a bloke who doesn't mind your complete barminess, you'd better just keep him."

"You know Albus, neither of your parents are as smart-arsed as you. You wouldn't be making light of my situation if you were the one trying to find someone! I think you've been spending too much time with-"

Rose was cut off by a voice calling out.

"Oi, Albus!"

The cousins turned to see a grinning Scorpius Malfoy rushing towards them, his earlobe-length hair blown slightly back by his movement and his necktie slung over his shoulder.

Unlike Albus, who had grown broader and more muscular with time, most of Scorpius' growth was vertical. His lanky frame towered over most of the other fifth years. Even Rose was shorter than he was, but only by a little. His bright blonde hair had grown out a bit, and unlike Albus, who had lost his glasses, Scorpius had gained them in fourth year, a stylish and probably very expensive pair of small rectangular frames that sat over his mercury-silver eyes. His nose was still delicate, his jaw was still very sharply defined, and his cheekbones were still high.

Rose still thought he was very pretty.

"_- with Malfoy..."_ whispered a suddenly wide-eyed and red-faced Rose, which went unnoticed by Al.

"Hey Al!" greeted Scorpius with a smile as he arrived.

"Hello Scorp." said Al cheerfully.

"Weasley." Glare.

The redhead didn't respond, still staring at Scorpius with a look that was a cross between shell-shocked and thoughtful.

"Albus, did you hear about Care of Magical Creatures? At midnight, Professor Hagrid is taking us out to the Forbidden..." Scorpius trailed off as he noticed Rose.

"Er, Weasley? Why are you staring at me like that?"

* * *

_Two weeks later._

"Will you stop following me around, Weasley?" snapped an increasingly tense Scorpius Malfoy as his odd redheaded acquaintance, who had kept herself within three steps of him for several days now, continued to make her presence known.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Scorpius." she said cheerfully, attempting to grab his arm. Again.

He pulled it away.

_'I think Weasley has finally fallen off of her broom.' _thought Scorpius as he sped up his gait in an attempt to escape the shorter-legged girl. "And remind me again why you can't bugger off?"

"I've decided that you and I should start dating. Now I just have to convince you, and I'm not leaving until I have." chirped Rose, finally grasping Scorpius' arm and linking hers into it.

"You know, Weasley, there's a word to describe people like you."

"Determined? Persistent? Smitten?"

"Stalker."

"Oooh, you get testy when you're flustered!" laughed Rose as she squeezed his arm. "That's cute, but just being grumpy isn't going to put me off; I still want to go out with you."

Scorpius was too tired and frustrated to fight it anymore.

"And you came to this conclusion...how?" asked a deflated Scorpius.

"I was having a chat with Al and I realized that you're exactly the kind of man I should be with." said Rose as if it were obvious.

_'Lucky me.' _"You can't just suddenly decide you should 'be with' someone. You hardly even know me." replied Scorpius.

"Are you serious? I've known you since our first ride on the Express! That was more than five years ago, Scorpius. I probably know you better than most people at this school." retorted Rose.

Scorpius didn't respond. She was right, to his great irritation.

"Besides, there's a perfectly good reason for me to decide that we should try dating."

"And why is that?" grumbled Scorpius. _'I feel like I'm going to regret asking this.'_

"Because we've always clicked together perfectly, Scorpius."

Scorpius raised an eyebrow. "Have we now?"

"Of course. You just haven't realized it yet. But, I think you'll start seeing things my way." said Rose as she waved jauntily to two of her cousins, who were passing in the other direction and giggled to one another when they saw Rose clamped onto Scorpius' arm..

_'Roxanne and Molly, I believe.'_ thought Scorpius as he watched the two giggling girls depart.

"How silly of me for not realizing." grumbled Scorpius.

"But it's true!" cried Rose.

"Oh really? Give me one example of why we click well together."

"You're always so nice and helpful to me. When you're not saying nasty things anyway."

"What?" Scorpius was certain that he'd never once tried to do anything helpful for the kooky redhead.

"Whenever I blow a potion up or accidentally blast something to pieces in transfiguration, you're always there to fix it for me. It's very sweet of you." said Rose happily as she squeezed his arm.

"I fix it because it's usually _my _potion or _my_ transfiguration project that you've just destroyed!" barked Scorpius, as several bad memories bubbled to the surface.

"Details, details." dismissed Rose. "Besides, you're so uptight and stiff... you need someone to set you on fire with newt skins now and then. It'll keep you on your toes."

"I _KNEW_ YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!"

"See, that's another reason. You're always so funny!" laughed Rose.

"...this is funny?" Scorpius was rightly confused.

"You have the most amusing reactions to everything I do! I love watching them."

Scorpius just facepalmed and groaned.

Rose giggled at the sight.

"So, I fix whatever gets destroyed by your bumbling, and you think it's funny when I get mad. That's no basis for a relationship."

"No, it isn't. But, there is more! You're really intelligent and sensible."

"Well, I suppose it's good to know that you _occasionally_ say something with an ounce of sense to it, Weasley." chortled Scorpius.

Rose whacked him a third time.

"That's one thing I _don't_ like about you, Malfoy. Your wise-arse mouth." growled Rose. Scorpius just laughed again.

"But it's true, Malfoy. I may not be a Ravenclaw, I'm not too daft to see that I _very occasionally_ make bad decisions and I'm sure you'd be great at keeping me out of trouble." said Rose matter-of-factly.

"So, now you want me to be your babysitter?" Scorpius looked amused.

"You don't have to put it that way!" Rose snipped.

"I'm not sure I see much benefit in this for me." said Scorpius. "Following you around, keeping you from destroying half of the wizarding world, cleaning it up when you do...getting laughed at when I'm angry...this sounds like a nightmare."

"There would be some benefits." said Rose, right before she turned, stood on her tiptoes and firmly kissed Scorpius.

"..." Scorpius was rendered speechless, to shocked to respond.

She tasted a little like pumpkin pasty.

_'What the bloody heck was that? That was...that was...that was actually pretty amazing...'_ thought Scorpius. _'Wait, no! Don't let her see that you enjoyed it!'_

But it was too late. Rose had caught Scorpius' dreamy expression and looked _very _smug.

"See? Benefits!" chirped Rose.

"Ah...uh...bluh..." Scorpius was still having some trouble forming words.

"I can see that I've already changed your mind a little bit, but I can still name some more reasons." continued Rose.

Scorpius just sighed in resignation.

"You don't mind my quirks." said Rose.

Scorpius just stared incredulously. "You're fully aware that you drive me insane, Weasley."

"I know, but most people just turn and run away when they see me coming." said Rose sadly. "You always talk to me and spend time with me, even if you don't want to. It's very sweet."

"Or maybe I just don't want to make Al angry by ignoring his best-cousin-friend." snorted Scorpius.

"No, I really think you've got too much compassion and character to just ignore me, even if I bother you. Which I doubt by the way, I think you're just being difficult. Oh, and you just came up with another good reason why we should date!" enthused Rose.

"I did?" _'Oh merlin, don't add fuel to the fire of her delusions!'_

"We have the same best friend! I bet Al would be thrilled if we got together!" exclaimed Rose.

"I'm sure." grumbled Scorpius. "But wouldn't dating ruin _our_ friendship?" he tried.

"Do you consider me to be your friend, Scorpius?" asked Rose.

"Of course not! I can't stand y - Er, I mean, yes! YES! You're my best mate, Weasley! The only friend I have! I can't risk losing that by _dating_ you! Come, let us adjourn to the common rooms and partake in some...friend-like activities! Fancy some exploding snap?" yelped Scorpius, realizing his mistake in answering 'no'.

"Nice try, Scorpius." chortled Rose.

"Mrghblurggrrrr..." Scorpius grumbled and snarled. He was rightly irritated, as he'd just been outwitted by _Rose Weasley_ of all people.

"There is one other really good reason." said Rose.

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but go on..."

"I still think you're really pretty. I get a little excited just looking at you." said Rose with no real shame as she lightly ran a finger up and down his arm.

Scorpius tripped over his own feet, which sent Rose into a laughing fit.

Scorpius just glared. "Very funny, Weasley. And I'm not pretty!"

"It's true! You have to be attracted to someone at least a little for a relationship to work, and I'm more than a little." she winked as she helped him to his feet.

"What if I don't find you attractive?" challenged Scorpius.

"If your face wasn't as red as my hair right now, I might believe you." said Rose with a smirk.

Scorpius just glared.

"Oh, don't look so put out! A girl just told you you're attractive, it's a good thing!"

"I still think you're completely barmy, Weasley. This would never work."

"Why not?" demanded Rose.

"How about our parents? You know they hate each other."

"I know, isn't it great?" enthused Rose.

"How is that great?"

"It adds the lure of the forbidden to our torrid romance! It's like a muggle romance story. That just makes it even more exciting! We're practically fated to tie our families together! You're the Romeo to my Juliet." exclaimed Rose.

"We do not have a _torrid romance, _Weasley. And I'm the _who_ to your _what_?" snapped Scorpius.

"Not yet."

Scorpius groaned again.

"Face it, Scorpius. We're practically soulmates. You're just too stubborn to admit it."

"Weasley."

"Yes, lover?"

"You're insane. We are not going to be lovers, we're not fated to be together, I don't want to keep you out of trouble, I don't want to be laughed at when I'm angry, I don't want to upset my family, just because I tolerate you doesn't mean I like you, just because we share a best friend doesn't mean we should to start seeing each other, and we certainly aren't _soulmates._ You can't just decide one day that you love me and start following me around and expect me to just act like it's normal, so

_Why don't you just leave me alone?_"

"Well, it's a good job I don't love you, then." bit out a rather hurt-looking Rose.

"That's a relief."

"It's far too soon to say anything about 'love'. But I do like you a whole lot. And while it may be true that I only just started thinking of you this way, I've still known you for years, I still consider us to be close even if you don't, and I honestly think that with some effort and a lot less stubbornness on your part, you and I could have something really nice. And I'm not going to _just leave you alone_ until you can come up with a really good reason why we shouldn't at least _try_, Scorpius H. Malfoy. And the family card isn't going to be enough." said Rose with an air of finality and a seriousness that Scorpius didn't usually associate with her.

Scorpius was shocked into silence.

Rose had let go of Scorpius' arm, and the two of them continued to walk in a deafening quiet.

That is, until they rounded the corner and found themselves face to chest with Orchid Finnegan (she was rather short), a Gryffindor fourth year well-known as Hogwarts' biggest gossip.

Rose was startled into grabbing Scorpius' arm. Finnegan immediately took notice.

"Omigosh! Scorpius Malfoy, are you and Rose _together?"_ she asked with an eager look.

_'No, Weasley is just a crazy person who's decided to follow me around.'_

But before Scorpius could say it, Rose spoke first.

"Yes, but Scorpius just won't admit to it yet." she said as she tightened her hold on his arm. "He's just being stubborn, but I think he'll come around. We're soulmates, you know."

"I...see." said Finnegan in a somewhat condescending tone. She was one of many who dismissed Rose as the resident raisincake of Gryffindor. "Well, good luck with that." she finished as she shot Scorpius a somewhat evil smile, before giving her farewells and flouncing off, obviously to tell everyone what she had just seen and heard.

Scorpius moaned. _'The entire school is going to have heard about this by tomorrow. I hate my life.'_

"She seemed nice!" said Rose airily.

Scorpius just huffed and continued to walk.

* * *

_Another week later. _

"You've got to do something about this, Al!" cried a panicked Scorpius after he'd cornered Al near the Hogwarts quidditch pitch. "The barmy girl won't leave me alone! I don't get a moment's peace anymore!"

"Oh, stop being so melodramatic. It's not that bad." replied Al as he shifted his broomstick to his other hand. "And you should really be nicer to Rose."

"Why?"

"Because it isn't nice to be so mean to someone who fancies you." said Al.

"You should've been a Hufflepuff." groaned Scorpius.

Albus sighed and put his quill down. "Look Scorp, Rose is my best friend and my cousin. I realize that she's odd and can be a bit flighty..."

Scorpius snorted.

"...but she's harmless. So what if she fancies you?"

"She's driving me up the wall!" cried Scorpius. "She's _always around, everywhere I go!_"

"Can't you just humor her for a while? I'm sure it'll pass, like a phase she's going through or something. Hell, you might even start to like her back if you gave her a chance."

"A _phase? _Like the 'being a complete nutter' phase she's apparently been going through since birth?" sneered Scorpius.

"Scorpius, I know Rose is far from perfect, but..."

"She's saying that I'm her _soulmate! _She's 16 years old! _I'm_ 16 years old! You can't talk about finding your soulmate when you're a teenager!" yelped Scorpius.

"Perhaps you're taking her _just a bit_ too seriously. Is it really that bad?"

Scorpius paused and thought for a moment. "Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't so vehement about it. Or if she wasn't such a loon. Just what is her malfunction, anyway?" asked Scorpius.

Albus sighed again. "It isn't the whole story, but I can tell you a little bit. You know how Rose's mum is the Director of Magical Law Enforcement, right?"

"Right."

"Well, that's a demanding job. Long hours, lots of stress, the works. Aunt Hermione is an incredibly intelligent, sensible, and capable woman, but she doesn't really have a ton of time for her family." continued Al. "Combine that with the fact that Rose is so different from her mother, and the two have never really been close. Aunt Hermione has had very little influence on her daughter, really."

"What does that have to do with..."

"Her dad, my uncle Ron, used to be an Auror, but once he started his family, he quit that job to handle business at the joke shop he co-owns with his older brother George, since it would be safer for him and the shop was so successful it needed more management anyway. Uncle Ron himself can be a little...goofy at times. He works in a joke shop, after all."

"So, this means...?"

"That my uncle Ron, who is well in touch with his inner child, is basically the one that raised the children, and Rose has him completely wound around her little finger. She's his baby. Rose's little brother Hugo is the one who takes more after Aunt Hermione." replied Albus.

"And I presume that 'Uncle Ron' pretty much allowed Rose any freedoms she wanted?" asked Scorpius.

"Precisely. She's not used to responsibility or discipline, she's got no real concept of restraint, and she's used to getting what she wants. Combine that with her...interesting personality, and you can sort of see why she acts how she does." finished Albus.

Scorpius said nothing. It made sense. These days, the whole Potter-Weasley clan seemed to be rather used to getting their own way.

"She has a lot of good points, too." said Albus as he began to list them on his fingers. "Her heart is always in the right place, no matter what she does. Even if she isn't as brilliant as her mother academically, she's far better at relating to other people, and at understanding her own feelings and needs. She's lots of fun to be around. And she firmly believes in monogamous relationships."

Scorpius grunted. "I still wish you would help me. I'm tired of her following me around. You're her cousin for Merlin's sake, I'm sure if you just asked-"

"I will do no such thing." said Albus in a dismissive tone.

"What? Why not?"

"I have several very good reasons." replied Albus.

"Bullshit! Name them, then!" demanded Scorpius. Albus was pretty much his last hope at getting away from Rose.

"One, it's really none of my business what happens between you and Rose unless one of you hurts the other and comes to me, even if I am your best friend."

Scorpius scowled.

"Two, if Rose fancies you, that means she can't fancy Malcolm Finnegan, or Ed Goyle, or Calum McClaggen, or Vincent Zabini, or any of the other blokes at this school who would like nothing better than to shag Rose and then cast her aside like they do with every other girl they get their claws into."

"What do you mean? That I'm a 'safe' person for Rose to stalk?"

"I'm saying I trust you not to use or hurt Rose, so don't cock it up." threatened Albus.

"What if I do hurt Rose?" challenged Scorpius, crossing his arms as he said it.

"Then the Aurors looking for your remains will find your head in the astronomy tower, your bollocks in the forbidden forest, and the rest of you at the bottom of the lake." said Al in a cheerful voice, waggling his wand menacingly as he did.

Scorpius shuddered.

"And the third reason is...not...that...important..." Al trailed off and looked away.

Scorpius fixed Albus with a look. _'Tell me or die, Potter.'_

"Ithngkicegether." mumbled Albus.

"Speak up, Potter!"

"I think you two would be nice together." said Albus, bracing himself for the explosion.

"WHAT! ALBUS, YOU-!"

"I'm just saying, I think the two of you could make a good couple."

"You...you...you traitor!" screeched Scorpius.

"Oh, stop acting like that. It's getting old." snapped Albus. "Besides, you could do a lot worse than Rose, if we're being honest." Albus nodded to something behind Scorpius as he said it. Scorpius turned around to see Gertrude Bulstrode-Fletchley and Trixie Nott strolling past, both giving the boys some rather _come-hither_ glances.

Scorpius shuddered and turned his attention back to Albus, who seemed similarly repulsed. "We wouldn't make a good couple! We'd make a terrible couple. Horrible. The worst ever known!"

"Look Scorpius, as much as I love Rose, I know that she's better off with somebody who would provide her with a stable base to grasp onto. On her own, she's too shaky and impulsive. She's a great girl, but she needs some guidance and stability. Lorcan Scamander never could've provided that for her."

"Great, someone else who wants me to babysit Rose." grumbled Scorpius.

Albus wasn't finished.

"You on the other hand, are nothing but a stick in the mud who acts like he's never had fun in his life. You're a great friend and all, but I honestly think you're never going to be truly happy living your life the way you do. You never smile or laugh or look like you're enjoying anything anymore. You could use Rose in your life almost as much as she wants you in hers, Scorpius."

"When did you become some sort of expert on relationships?" snorted Scorpius after a second or two of silence. He'd really had no good response to what Albus had just said.

"I just call them as I see them." replied Albus.

At that moment, the conversation was broken by a third person running to greet the two boys.

"Albus! Scorpius!" called Rose cheerfully as she hurried over to them, her long hair (flying completely loose today) floating and bouncing behind her.

"Oi, Rosie!" replied Albus. Scorpius was silent.

"Hi Al!" chirped Rose before turning her attention to Scorpius.

"I've been looking everywhere for you, Scorp!" chided Rose as she glommed onto Scorpius' back. "We've got potions in twenty minutes and I hear we're making amortentia today! Come on then, let's go!"

And with that, she dragged a still-silent Scorpius away. Albus, clearly amused at his cousin's antics, waved cheerfully as the two departed.

_'Am I really as bad as Al says? I didn't think I was that joyless. Maybe my life is a bit boring. Is that what everyone thinks? How long has it been since I dated Alice?'_

Scorpius glanced over to Rose, who had been chattering all the while.

"...and then instead of hitting the Boggart I accidentally riddikulus'd Professor Chang and turned her into a pumpkin pasty. I love pumpkin pasties. That reminds me of the time when I was six and I left a pumpkin pasty under my bed for three weeks and nobody could figure out why the house smelled so bad until Hugo found it and tried to eat it...he spent a week at St. Mungos! And then..."

Rose's rambling pulled Scorpius out of his self-reflection. _'This girl is bloody crazy. Perhaps if brew some polyjuice I can hide from her...'

* * *

_

That's chapter two. I don't like this one much, compared to the first chapter. But it was kind of necessary to explain why Rose becomes so fixed on Scorpius. After this the story becomes more situational, and that's what I prefer.

Grumpy!Scorpius and Flighty!Rose are still fun though. The straight-faced vs. free-spirited odd couple is such a cliché, but one of my favorite cliches.


	3. Hogsmeade

Chapter Three! Still in fifth year, Rose still crazy, Scorpius still annoyed. I think there are only one or two more chapters in fifth year left. After that, we go to sixth.

I own nothing related to Harry Potter, or anything else I mention in this story. I'm not doing this for profit, but because I have no life anymore.

* * *

"Mmmmoi, Schcorpius!" _*swallow*_ "G'mornin." said Fred Weasley, around his mouthful of eggs and bacon as Scorpius plopped himself down at the Gryffindor table on a dreary Friday morning.

Scorpius tried not to let his disgust at the sixth year's table manners show.

"Good morning, Fred." replied Scorpius politely as he tucked into his oatmeal (no milk, lots of brown sugar) and made pleasant conversation with the rest of the Weasleys/Potters, sans Rose and Albus.

By now, even Scorpius' fellow Slytherins had given up on getting Scorpius to sit at the house table. Even if he did, Rose would just drag him off to sit with her family at the Gryffindor one.

"So, Scorpius, there's a Hogsmeade weekend starting tomorrow. Are you taking anyone?" asked Lily Luna Potter with a mischievous tone to her sing-song voice.

A roar of laughter immediately sounded from nearly everyone at the table.

"Oh, even if _he_ doesn't take anyone..." began Louis Weasley.

"..._someone_ will be _taking him_ there whether he likes it or not!" finished James Potter, cackling with glee all the while.

"Oh, what could you _possibly mean_, James?" asked Lily, playing along.

"I mean that Scorpius' _soulmate_ would never allow him to spend a Hogsmeade weekend _alone!_"

Another roar of laughter.

"Out of all the tables here, I had to sit at the one with the army of mouthy gingers." groaned Scorpius into his oatmeal.

"Oi, I'm blonde!" retorted Louis Weasley at the same time that Fred and Roxanne yelled "Brunette!"

"_Scorpiuuuus!"_ everyone turned their heads to see Rose and Albus making their way towards the table, with the shorter Albus trying to keep pace with Rose's fast, long-legged strides.

"Good morning, cutie!" chirped Rose as she glommed onto Scorpius from behind.

"Oi, you can bid your boytoy good morning, but not your family? I'm wounded, Rose!" cackled Molly Weasley from behind her thick glasses.

"Don't call me that." grumbled a slightly red-faced Scorpius as Lucy, Lily, and Dominique Weasley fell into a fit of giggles.

"But you _are _cute!" Rose sniffed deeply. "And you smell nice today!"

"Like what?" asked a confused Scorpius. Had hadn't worn any fragrances today.

"Liiiiiike..._pumpkin pasty!"_ exclaimed Rose, before she snatched up the pasty that had been sitting on Scorpius' plate and began munching it.

"Oi! That's my breakfast!" yelped Scorpius as James and Fred laughed at his misfortune.

"You should know by now that no pumpkin pasty is safe around me, Scorpius." said Rose around a mouthful of pasty. "Move over, Louis! I want to sit next to my Hogsmeade date."

As she said it, she bumped Louis aside with her hips as she moved to take his seat, causing Louis to spill a goblet of pumpkin juice down the front of his robes.

"Agh! _Rose!_ Watch where you're sticking that big arse of yours!" snapped the fair blonde. Louis wasn't as fair as Scorpius, but he came the closest out of anyone at Hogwarts.

"It's not _big!_" snapped Rose. "And don't be such a baby. Do you want me to fix it?" she asked as she drew her wand.

"_**NO!**_" Louis immediately screeched, paling at the sight of Rose's unintentionally lethal wand. "I'll clean it myself." he said as he scourgified his robes.

"Hmmph. I could've done it." grumbled Rose.

"What's all this about your Hogsmeade date? I don't recall asking you to go with me." said Scorpius as Rose put her wand away.

"Couples don't _ask_ each other to go to Hogsmeade, silly Scorpius! They just go." replied Rose as if it were obvious.

"We are not a couple, Rose." replied Scorpius.

"Not ye-e-et." chimed Rose before going off on a Hogsmeade tangent. "Anyway, when we get to Hogsmeade, we absolutely _have_ to go to Honeydukes for pumpkin pasties, and then we can go get butterbeer at the Hog's Head...oh, and I need to go to Gladrag's for some new socks, and then..."

Scorpius just groaned and put his head down on the table as Rose continued to ramble on about the famous village, giving up and accepting his fate as Rose's escort for tomorrow's trip to Hogsmeade.

The rest of Rose's family exchanged amused glances and knowing smiles.

* * *

_Main Street - Hogsmeade_

"I don't want to do this." insisted Scorpius for the third time.

"Oh, you're no fun at all, you miserable old fart! It's just a picture!" whined Rose, shaking Scorpius' arm a bit as she did.

"I don't care if it's just a picture! And I'm not a miserable fart!"

Robert Creevey stood off to the side, clutching his camera and wearing an amused expression. Unlike his deceased uncle, Robert Creevey didn't use his camera to innocently annoy other people. Instead, he had enough sense and entrepreneurial spirit to use it for making money. Specifically, for only a galleon, he'd take pictures of couples using the various postcard-like scenes of Hogsmeade as a backdrop on every Hogsmeade trip the students took.

Considering how often Hogwarts students switched partners, he had quite a racket going.

Of course, it also meant he was quite used to watching bickering couples, like the unusual one before him now.

"Yes you are, Scorpius! What's the harm in just taking a photograph? It'll be fun!" insisted Rose.

Scorpius just grumbled.

"Uh, guys...there is a queue forming, you know." Robert spoke up for the first time.

Scorpius and Rose turned to look to see five other couples, including Albus and Alice, looking on with expressions that ranged from irritation to amusement.

Rose gasped and Scorpius reddened, before sighing.

"Fine, just take the photo."

Rose squealed with delight and grabbed Scorpius' arm, spinning him around so their backs were to the main square of the town.

"Are you ready?" asked Robert as he lifted the camera.

Rose nodded, and Scorpius just glared.

"Alright, say '_fizzing whizzbees'_!" chirped Robert, before clicking the button.

As he did, Rose, who had simply been smiling before, turned and planted a peck on Scorpius' cheek, before pulling away with a gleeful laugh.

Scorpius, who had been scowling, went wide-eyed and pink-faced as he realized what Rose had done.

He tried to ignore the tingling electricity where Rose's lips had touched his cheek.

Robert grinned inwardly. This would make a _great_ photo. One of his best.

"So, what do I owe you, Bob?" asked Rose as she walked up to the cameraman. Scorpius trailed behind her with his hand on his cheek and a hazy expression in his eyes.

"One galleon for one copy, or three galleons for five." said Robert.

"I'll take the five." said Rose, handing over her money. Robert took it, and made a note in his little ledger, before bidding Rose and Scorpius a good day, and going back to his photography.

As he walked off, Rose turned her attention back to the Malfoy.

"Come along, Scorp!" she said cheerily, taking him by the arm and guiding him away.

"Uh...right." said a still dazed Scorpius.

Rose's beaming grin could've illuminated a whole castle.

* * *

_The Three Broomsticks Inn_

"How can you be hungry? You just ate four pumpkin pasties!" asked an incredulous Scorpius as he watched Rose tuck into her roast beef sandwich at the famed Three Broomsticks Inn.

"It wasn't that much!" grumbled Rose around a mouthful of roast beef.

"After you ate the pasties, you also ate my cauldron cake." muttered Scorpius as he took a savage bite of a scotch egg.

Rose looked away innocently.

"_Oh, Scorpius! Let's go to Honeyduke's, I'm starving!" enthused Rose as she dragged a still slightly shell-shocked Scorpius towards the sweets shop. _

"_Uh, candy...good." muttered Scorpius, finally pulling his hand from his cheek. _

_Rose just laughed happily. _

_Once into the shop, Rose immediately went to the counter where the cakes and pasties were on display. _

"_I'd like four of the pumpkin pasties, please!" said Rose before turning to Scorpius. "What were you going to get? Maybe a cauldron cake? I know you love chocolate..."_

"_A cauldron cake sounds good." agreed Scorpius, still not sounding quite with-it. _

_A moment later, Scorpius dazedly paid for the sweets and the two left the shop, wandering off into the streets of Hogsmeade. Rose was tearing into her pumpkin pasties, in between waving at everyone she saw on the street, while Scorpius merely held his chocolate cake. _

"_Are you going to eat that or do you just enjoy holding it?" asked Rose. _

_Scorpius didn't say anything so Rose grabbed the cake and began to munch on it. _

_Finally, that seemed to shake Scorpius out of the daze he was in. The daze not caused by Rose Weasley's kiss. _

_Absolutely not. _

_A kiss from Rose Weasley would _NEVER_ affect him. _

"_Hey!"_

"_I didn't think you were going to eat it!" laughed Rose around a mouthful of chocolate. _

"_I was going to, eventually." grumbled Scorpius. _

"_Once you got over the shock of my searing, passionate peck on the cheek, right?" Rose smirked as she said it, before sticking her tongue out. _

_Scorpius merely turned red and growled. _

_Rose let out another of her booming, rolling laughs. "Oh, don't be such a sourpuss!" Then Rose got an idea. "I'll buy you lunch at the Broomsticks later, how does that sound?"_

_Scorpius said nothing, but nodded. _

True to her word, Rose had taken him to lunch at noon. Now they were seated comfortably at a small table in the weathered old inn, Rose eating a roast beef sandwich with chips and pickles, while Scorpius had chosen a scotch egg platter with salad.

"You were dead to the world, Malfoy. I didn't even know I had that sort of an effect on you." Rose winked as she said it.

Scorpius snorted. "You don't. I was just too repulsed for words, that's all."

Rose laughed again. "Oh Scorpius, you just what to say to make a girl feel all warm and gooey inside."

Scorpius smirked. "It's a gift."

Rose's face suddenly took on a mischievous look and she leaned in closer to Scorpius, until she was almost nose-to-nose with him. "It's cute that you're so embarrassed about it, but one look at your eyes told me how you really felt, Scorpius Malfoy." she said in a hushed, breathy tone before giving him another quick peck on the lips.

Scorpius turned a shade of red that would've done any Weasley proud, but he said nothing.

_'Is she going to keep stealing kisses until I just give her one?'_

Rose resumed her normal demeanor and happy expression as she leaned back into her own seat. "So Scorp, what did you buy from the bookshop? You never did show me."

"Do you mean before or after you laid waste to the entire shop?" Scorpius asked with a raised eyebrow.

Rose reddened. "After." She ground out.

"_I. Want. To. Go. To. The. Bookshop." said Scorpius, as stubbornly as he possibly could._

"_But we're on a date! You don't buy books on a date!" pleaded Rose._

"_This is not a date, Weasley. And even if it was, people who enjoy the written word for reasons other than barely passing Herbology have no qualms about visiting bookshops on dates." replied Scorpius as he began walking into the shop._

"_Well, I think it's a date." grumbled Rose as she followed Scorpius. _

_Scorpius whirled around, much to Rose's surprise as she was barely able to stop in time, and began to speak. _

"_How about this, Rose? If you let me browse about in here for as long as I like, the rest of the day is yours. I'll go wherever you want me to. Deal?"_

"_Really?"_

"_Really."_

"_Deal!"_

_Rose cheerfully followed Scorpius into the bookshop, beaming. _

_And five seconds later, she was bored out of her mind. _

_Scorpius had immediately wandered off into the stacks, and it quickly became apparent that he was going to scan EVERY shelf of every topic, from Astronomy to Charms to Muggle Fiction to Wizard Fiction to Muggle Nonfiction to Quidditch to Transfiguration. _

"_Oh merlin, I'm so BORED!" groaned Rose as she wandered aimlessly through the store. "Why couldn't I have inherited the gene that gets mum aroused every time she's near books? Hugo got it..."_

_As she continued to pace about, she ran straight into the proprietor of the shop, a rather stern older woman with thick glasses and her hair in a tight bun. She rather reminded Rose of Madame Pomfrey. _

"_Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going and..."_

_As she backed away quickly, Rose ran right into a huge shelf of books, that ran nearly half the length of the store. _

_She hit it hard enough to tip it slightly. _

_Creak._

"_Oh no..."_

_CRASH!_

_The entire shelf, containing hundreds, possibly more than a thousand books, crashed to the ground. _

"_OMIGOD! I'm so sorry! I'm such a dragon in a crystal ball shop! Here, I'll fix it."_

_The shopkeeper looked on in stunned awe as Rose cast a spell to clean the mess up._

_The reason for the shopkeeper's awed stare was because instead of righting the shelf and sending all of the books back to their places, Rose's spell had a slightly different effect. _

_Immediately, the hundreds of books began flapping their covers like angry birds, and began to fly about the shop, attacking Rose, the shopkeeper, and all of the customers, who quickly fled out the door. _

"_Rose, what the bloody hell is going on?" asked Scorpius as he ran around a corner after hearing the commotion, only to run straight into an attack of flying books. "Shit, what in Merlin's name is this?"_

"_You lunatic, what have you done to my store?" screeched the shopkeeper as she drew her wand and attempted to restore order and stop the onslaught of suddenly sentient books. _

"_A few moments later, a stunning spell from Scorpius and a cleaning spell from the shopkeeper had taken the life out of the books and restored the shop good as new._

"_Is this yours?" demanded the shopkeeper angrily as she grasped Rose by the wrist and shoved her towards Scorpius. Rose was too embarrassed to be indignant at the treatment. _

_Scorpius sighed. "Yes."_

"_If you're going to bring her into my shop, please keep her under control, yes?" snapped the clerk before stomping away to make sure no other damage had been done to her business. _

_Scorpius immediately turned and glared at Rose, who shrank back. "Heh-heh..."_

"_Did you attempt to do something with your wand?" he asked. _

"_...maybe."_

_He held out his hand. "Give it here."_

"_But, you can't..."_

"_Give. It."_

_Rose sighed and handed over her wand. _

"_You can have it back when we're not surrounded by thousands of galleons worth of merchandise." said Scorpius as he tucked it into his jacket._

"I went there to buy one or two used books, and ended up buying five brand-new ones because I was so embarrassed about the mayhem you created, and felt I had to make it up to the nice book lady who normally isn't attacked by her own shop."

"I said I was sorry! To the both of you!" barked an embarrassed Rose, before the talk of the bookstore battle reminded her of something else. "Oh, that reminds me, can I have my wand back now?"

Scorpius pulled it out of his coat and handed the wand back to it's owner. "I feel like I'm going to regret this, but I did say I would give it back."

"Can I see what you bought?" asked Rose as she tucked her wand back into it's place.

Scorpius wordlessly handed the bag of books over. Rose began examining covers and reading titles off to herself.

"_Madame Tenor's History of Muggle Music Volume Five, 1900-2000. _

_The Compleat Guide to Muggle Monuments and Landmarks Worldwide. _

_Longbottom's Treatise on Edible Plants, Magical and Non._

_Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, a Wizard's Guide to Muggle Transportation_

_Hogwarts, a History, Third Edition."_

"Rather interested in Muggles, aren't you?" asked Rose. "You should meet my grandfather."

"More a curiosity than an interest. Besides, I'm traveling with my parents this summer. I'm sure I will encounter many muggles."

Rose nodded and cracked the first book open. "_The Beastie Boys? The Beatles? Ludwig von Beethoven? _I've never heard of any of these musicians. Rather embarrassing, because my mum is a muggleborn, you know. I'll bet she knows who they are."

Before Scorpius could respond, he was interrupted by the door of the inn swinging open and someone yelling "Oi! Rosie!"

Scorpius and Rose both turned to see Roxanne Weasley, Louis Weasley, Hugo Weasley, Lily Luna Potter, and Lucy Weasley all pile into the pub.

Scorpius suspected that these were the Weasleys/Potters who hadn't found dates for this particular Hogsmeade trip.

The entire group immediately seated themselves at and around Scorpius and Rose's table.

"What's going on, guys?" asked Rose cheerily as she handed the books back to Scorpius.

"We've just come from the Wheezes. Uncle George is rather annoyed that you're the only niece or nephew that hasn't come to see him." said Hugo.

Oddly, when he said it, Hugo was looking not at Rose, but at Scorpius.

"Yeah, Dad kept asking where his crazy Rosie was." agreed Roxanne.

Rose nearly dropped the last bite of her sandwich. "Uncle George is here! In Hogsmeade? But he always stays at the Diagon Alley branch!"

"Well, today he's in Hogsmeade, so you'd better visit him sometime." noted Roxanne. Then she too looked at Scorpius. "You might as well meet him too, I'm sure you'll meet most of our family sooner or later."

The rest of the group stifled a bit of laughter, to Scorpius' confusion.

"Come on, Scorp! We've got to meet my uncle!" exclaimed Rose as she jumped up and threw a pile of galleons on the table to pay for lunch.

"But I'm not finish-" was all Scorpius got out before Rose had him by the arm and was dragging him away.

Scorpius valiantly fought against Rose's (frightfully strong) pulling, and managed to snag the last scotch egg from his plate before he was dragged out of the inn, much to the amusement of the partial Weasley/Potter clan.

As they went out the door, Scorpius yelling at Rose all the while, Louis turned to look at his cousins.

"So, what do you guys think?"

"I think the Malfoy is doomed." replied Roxanne. "He's got no chance at all."

"I just hope mum and dad are okay with their daughter living in Malfoy Manor for the rest of her life." agreed Hugo mock-solemnly.

"Maybe Rose really will make good on her threat to buy the Burrow from grandad and grandmum someday and she'll make Scorpius live there instead." supplied Lily.

"Could you imagine, the _Malfoy heir_ living in _the Burrow?"_ cackled Lucy.

Soon, the entire group had broken down into hysterics.

* * *

Back out on the streets of Hogsmeade, things weren't nearly so funny. For Scorpius, anyway.

"Bloody hell, slow down Rose!" yelped Scorpius as he was dragged along.

"No, you hurry up!" replied the red-haired girl as she dragged the object of her affection towards a very garishly decorated pink building that dominated a particular block of storefronts.

"At least let go of me! I'll follow you, but stop dragging me like I'm a dog!"

When they reached the building, Rose immediately threw the door open and dragged Scorpius inside.

Where he was immediately hit in the face with a flying pink paper heart. As soon as the flying paper hit Scorpius, it formed into a mouth and began to sing.

_'Roses are red, Violets are blue, you look like a troll, and smell like one too!'_

And then it exploded into a mass of confetti and glitter, knocking Scorpius to the ground, and covering him with colorful paper scraps.

"Ah, another successful test of the _Vitriolic Valentines_ prototype!" cheered a stocky, red-haired man from behind the counter. "They'll be ready by Valentine's Day for sure!"

"UNCLE GEORGE!" shrieked Rose, immediately running towards her favorite uncle with her arms spread wide.

"Well, there's my little Rosie-Posie! I was beginning to wonder if you were going to drop by to see old George today!" greeted the man as he caught his niece in a big hug and spun her around.

Scorpius struggled to his feet, attempting to brush the glitter off of himself.

"Uncle George, this is Scorpius Malfoy, my date. Scorpius, this is George, my uncle. He's Fred and Roxy's dad." chirped Rose cheerfully.

"A pleasure." said Scorpius rather gruffly, still annoyed by the earlier Valentines assault. He shook George's hand and noticed that he had a rather firm grip.

"I trust you're taking good care of our Rosie." said George, fixing Scorpius' eye. "She's very important to us, you know."

Scorpius wondered why George was speaking in plurals, but didn't say anything about it. "Well, if by 'taking care of' you mean taking a photograph with her, waiting for an hour while she buys obnoxiously colored socks, cleaning up a bookstore she demolished, and buying several pumpkin pasties for her, and then letting her eat my cauldron cake, then yes, I've taken excellent care of her today." smirked Scorpius.

George's eyes widened for a second at Scorpius' tart mouth, before he began laughing. "Oh yes, that's our Rosie for sure. How did she destroy the bookstore?"

Scorpius recanted the tale, which sent George into hysterical laughter. Rose pretended to be put out, but even she had to admit that it was an amusing story.

"Oi, Rosie, I've got some prototypes in the back I want to show you. I think you'll love them, and you know you're my best customer." said George after they'd chatted for a while.

Rose was all for it.

"Scorpius, how about you?"

"Er, thanks but no thanks. I've already been attacked by rogue paper twice today. I don't think I can handle being a guinea pig for pranks a second time either." said Scorpius with a good-natured grin.

"Well, suit yourself! Come along, Rosie. Scorpius, feel free to look around the shop! And feel even more free to spend your money!" said George jovially as he guided Rose to the back.

Scorpius leant against the counter, still recovering from the encounter with 'Uncle George', looking out over the store as he did. It was jammed to the gunwales with practically everything a mischievous child would need to wreak havoc at the venue of his or her choosing.

_'I suppose he's the one responsible for that swamp in the old corridor. It's not hard to believe.'_ thought Scorpius.

"So, you're the one our Rosie is so taken with." said a voice from behind Scorpius.

The Malfoy whirled around to find himself face-to-face with nothing. "Is someone there?" asked Scorpius, suspicious that he was about to be the victim of another Wheezes prototype.

"Up here, blondie."

Scorpius looked up to see a moving portrait of what appeared to be a much younger version of George Weasley hanging on the wall behind the shop's counter.

"Fred Weasley, pleased to make your acquaintance. I'd shake your hand but, well, y'know..."

"I'm Scorpius Malfoy."

"I know. I've heard a lot about you." replied the portrait with a smile.

"You have?"

"Oh yes. You're the talk of the family, you know. And you know how the Weasleys can talk!"

"I'm the talk of your family?" Scorpius was confused. He hadn't expected this.

"Of course. It isn't every day that our Rosie gets so attached to someone." replied the portrait.

Suddenly, Scorpius understood why George had referred to her as 'their Rose'. He was referring to his apparently deceased brother.

"And you can imagine, we were quite surprised when it was a Malfoy that she'd fallen for. You look very much like your father by the way, only much taller and far less unpleasant-looking." said the portrait cheerily.

Scorpius gulped. "I suppose my family's reputation precedes me."

"Well, Ron and Harry don't like your father much, but they understand that he's reformed his ways. And we've heard that you're a good enough bloke, even if you are a grumpy old fart." laughed the portrait.

Scorpius grumbled. It was the second time today he'd heard that. "I must admit, I'm a bit surprised that your family has accepted me so easily. I even eat with Rose's cousins and brother every day."

"All of the kids like you." agreed the portrait. "The older ones and parents are a bit wary, which is more because of Rose than you. But, anyone who is a friend of Albus and Rose is a friend to the family, y'know."

Scorpius smiled genuinely. "Thanks."

"I heard about your escapades in the bookshop today. It was good of you to stick around with Rose. I think most people would've just run away and never looked back if Rose had done something like that."

"Well, I couldn't just leave her..."

"That Scamander kid would've never helped in that situation." replied Fred's portrait.

Scorpius was quiet.

"Do you have any intentions with Rose?" asked the portrait.

"I...uh. I'm not really..."

Muted explosions and laughter from Rose and George could be heard faintly from the other room.

"Well, it's okay if you aren't sure yet. I doubt that Rose is a girl whose arms you can just jump into." said the portrait thoughtfully. "If you do decide you absolutely don't fancy her, I do have to ask you to let her down gently and try not to hurt her. She's too good to just be tossed aside, you know."

Scorpius nodded.

"That being said, everyone in the family at Hogwarts is hoping you two will get together, so don't expect much sympathy if you totally reject Rose." laughed Fred.

Scorpius did a double take. _"Everyone?"_

"Yep-o."

"But...why?"

"There are plenty of reasons. The older boys trust you not to use Rose, and are pretty sure they can kill you and get away with it if you do."

Scorpius's eyes widened.

"The girls all think you're cute and like that you make Rose so happy."

Scorpius blinked.

"And I think Hugo is just worried that his sister is going to become the crazy, unmarried cat-lady of the family and sees you as a way to save her from that fate."

At that, Scorpius just couldn't stop himself from barking out a loud, genuine laugh.

The door swung open and a soot-covered Rose and George stepped back into the room, laughing hysterically. Rose was carrying a sack that appeared to be filled to the brim with various WWW implements.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Scorpius." said Fred's portrait.

"You too, Fred."

"Ah, I see you met my brother. He didn't divulge any trade secrets, I hope!" chortled George as he attempted to wipe the soot off of his face.

"Nope." grinned Scorpius.

"Then what did you lot talk about?" asked Rose

"Farts and crazy cat-ladies." replied Scorpius, much to the portrait's amusement.

Rose and George exchanged a look, but said nothing.

"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you both, but I think Rose and I must be leaving soon." said Scorpius as he checked his pocketwatch. "We need to make our way back to the castle in half an hour."

After everyone exchanged their farewells, George and Fred watched the two teens leave the shop, Scorpius lugging both his books and Rose's bag of freebies from the Wheezes.

"So, what did you think, Freddie?" asked George as he watched them leave.

"He's a bit stiff, but a good bloke. Nothing like his father was at that age. If anything, he reminds me of dear old Percival, minus most of the swotty prattishness. I'm sure pranking him would be great fun."

They both shared a laugh.

"I think Rosie picked a good one." said George after a silent beat.

"Me too."

* * *

As they walked back towards the castle, Rose was uncharacteristically quiet. That's not to say she was silent, it's just that she was spending enough time digging through her new goodie bag from the Wheezes that she only spoke with about half as much volume and flow as her usual stream of verbal spewage.

It gave Scorpius a little bit of time to think.

_'It's rather odd that Rose's family is so enthusiastic about me. Are they really that worried about Rose's future? She's a bit odd, but...I don't know. I think she'd be alright. Certainly not a loony cat lady.'_

"Oh, look Scorpius! A breath mint that makes the user's breath smell like a dungbomb! Brilliant!" crowed Rose, holding up one of the free samples. She still had soot on her face.

_'Okay, perhaps a bit of a crazy cat-lady.'_

Still, after giving it some thought, Scorpius realized that the day hadn't really been bad. It was almost enjoyable, in fact.

_'I'll admit, today was rather...interesting. And that debacle in the bookshop was just...urgh. How the bloody hell did she manage to...no, no...I'd better not think about it too much. I don't want to go crazy. Still, this is probably the best Hogsmeade Date I've ever had. It was...fun. Mostly. Usually it's just horrid trips to Madame Puddifoots and boring walks with awkward conversation. I think Rose is the first girl since Alice that didn't drag me to that horrible place...' _

Like the gentleman Scorpius (mostly) considered himself to be, he walked Rose all the way to Gryffindor tower, having to endure whistles and catcalls from only a few of it's residents. Once they reached Rose's dorm, it was time for awkward goodbyes.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Scorpius." said Rose, uncharacteristically shy.

"Yeah."

Rose shifted awkwardly on her feet a few times, like she planned to move towards Scorpius, but thinking better of it.

"Well, goodnight then." Rose began to walk towards the inner sanctums of the tower, but Scorpius stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Rose, I just wanted to say..."

Rose looked on with wide eyes and an expectant expression.

"...that, I...er...bugger. I guess I just wanted to say that I had a good time today. It was weird in a few places, but...fun, you know?" The normally articulate Malfoy seemed to be hunting for the right words and not finding them.

Rose felt disappointment and elation all at once. "Oh! Right, fun. Me too. I really liked spending the day with you. Liked it enough to...maybe try it again?" Rose offered.

Scorpius just smiled softly. "We'll see, Weasley."

Rose nodded. "Good night, Scorpius."

"Goodnight, Rose."

The two parted ways as Rose entered her dorm with a big silly grin on her face.

Scorpius made his way towards the Slytherin dungeon, trying to ignore his warm ears and face, knowing he was wearing a blush.

* * *

_One week later. _

"Ms. Weasley!" chirped a small voice.

Rose turned around in the corridor to see Robert Creevey running towards her. "Oi, Robert!"

He handed her an envelope. "Your order, Rose. They turned out rather well I think." he said with a grin before turning around and bounding off after Rose thanked him.

Rose immediately tore open the envelope and pulled out the top copy of the moving photograph.

It showed her first wrapping her arms around a rather reluctant looking Scorpius Malfoy. She hadn't noticed it at the time, but it appeared that he'd sneaked a hand onto her hip, lightly enough that she didn't feel it.

At the halfway point of the photo's movement, Rose turned to Scorpius and planted a kiss on his cheek, before pulling away with an incredibly joyful laugh and beaming smile. Scorpius' face turned pink and his mouth dropped open as he shot a hand to the cheek Rose had just kissed. The wide-eyed look of shock was adorable, Rose thought.

Rose felt warm as she looked at the photo. It really was perfect, with the light shining just so, and the backdrop of Hogsmeade providing a beautiful setting for the photo. Robert had earned his galleons.

It easily rivaled any 'couple' photo Rose had ever seen of her parents.

Not caring that she would be late for class, Rose turned and ran for her dorm, clutching the photos to her chest.

Upon reaching her bed, she immediately tucked one of the photos into the drawer of her nightstand. The other four went safely into the hidden secret compartment of her trunk.

After taking one last look at the photos, Rose turned to leave the dorm and rushed to class, grinning the whole way.

* * *

Chapter three! I thought this chapter would be short. Turns out, I was wrong.

Imagining Rose as a psychotic old lady with 50 cats amuses me to no end. She'd be the aunt that none of the children want to get near at family reunions.

Being attacked by crazy flying books is an actual nightmare I had when I was in the fourth grade. In my nightmare, the books ate me, so this story has a happier ending I guess.

I'm no longer one of those people who end every chapter with 'OMG PLEEZ REVIEW MY STOREE IF I DON'T GET 10 MORE REVIEWS I'M NOT GOING TO UPDATE ANYMORE!1 because frankly I consider those people to be a pox on this website. Not that I don't enjoy getting and reading reviews, because I do. I just don't beg for them.

But one pet peeve I DO have is people who favorite/C2/alert a story without leaving a review to tell me why they did. If you can take the time to do that, you could leave me a little something to tell me what you thought. Just sayin'.

Still, whether you reviewed or not, thanks for reading and I hope you'll continue to enjoy it.


	4. Watermelon Explosion!

Oh hey, Chapter 4. How is your sex life, ha?

Ahem, sorry about the long wait for chapter 4, but real life calls and all that. I've got this story (mostly) outlined out but obviously I have to write it...

* * *

Before I get to the story, it's time for some reviewer shout-outs! I won't do this for every chapter, but today I feel like doing some, so in order from most recent...

Quirming – Thanks! I'm glad you like my take on Rose. It seems like she's always either the uber-nerd of Hogwarts, or it's village broom (everyone has a ride, etc.) so I decided to do something else with her. I also appreciate the comments on my writing!

PsicKat – I'm glad you like it! Again, I'm trying to be different with Scorp and Rose.

Lovablerook – I thought I made Fred a bit too...I dunno...'mature-sounding' but then again, he's a dead guy in a portrait, so who knows.

Winter Ink – Wow! Three reviews! Thanks! My chapters do tend to get longer as I write them. I'll get an idea or decide to change something and it just snowballs. And yeah, I try to make Rose seem kinda perky by using the exclamations, but it ends up being too many. I'm sure Rose will kiss him more often if she gets the chance.

Spannerwanner – lol at your name. I hope you'll keep reading.

Sovinnai – thanks for reading!

Beezus – Is your name really Beatrice? ;) Anyway, I'm glad you like it and I hope bees stay away from me!

UKHpFan – I'm glad you think my writing is funny. I'm always hesitant to put 'Humor' as a story genre, because I doubt anyone finds me funny, so it's a relief that at least one person does. I appreciate your feedback and reviews!

Blissfullyignorantnerd – Thanks for the compliment! That's exactly what I was going for with my Rose and Scorpius.

Besotted B – Thanks for the multiple reviews! I'm glad you like my story (and I like yours too, so I hope you update them!)

sarahmadison – Thanks for reading and for the reviews!

3ohGlee – Glad you're enjoying my fic and my takes on the characters!

Iciclegirl – Yeah, Rose is always the most awesomest, talented witch ever. I think she could inherit her mother's ability to be intelligent without being the greatest wielder of magic who ever lived, like so many stories make her out to be, so I made her kind of a wand-spaz. I also wanted her to have a ton of confidence to go with her not-so-great skills, just because.

And thanks to everyone else for reading! Now, on to the story.

* * *

_Watermelon Explosion._

"Scorpius, I need help." said Rose Weasley as she plopped down across from Scorpius at the table he was currently occupying in the library.

Scorpius Malfoy started as he heard her voice. He'd been studying his herbology text rather intently as the OWLs were rapidly approaching and wasn't fully aware of his surroundings.

His eyes widened a bit as he saw the very snug, _very_ low-cut muggle top Rose was wearing, which exposed a rather generous amount of her freckled chest, but Scorpius managed to keep any other reactions under control.

"I've been telling you that for years, Weasley." replied the Malfoy with a smirk. "It's about time you finally admitted it. I'm sure the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's will gladly take you..."

_Whack!_ Rose reached across the table and swatted Scorpius.

"That's not what I meant, you giant arse-clown!" she snapped as Scorpius rubbed his shoulder. "The OWLs are coming and I need help with Transfiguration."

"..and Herbology, and Potions, and Charms and..."

_Whack!_ This time Scorpius winced as his already tender shoulder was hammered again.

Rose's glare softened as she tried again. "Please Scorpy..." Rose batted her eyelashes and leaned forward in what Scorpius guessed was an attempt to show off more skin and be an irresistible seductress.

Scorpius wasn't sure which 'school of seduction' Rose had studied at, but he hoped their tuition cost wasn't very high.

"I'm ace at the written work, but the practical always gets me. You're so good at handling your wand, I'm sure you could show me a thing or two."

Scorpius coughed, ignoring Rose's double-entendre, not sure if it was intentional or not. "So, you're asking me to tutor you for the OWLs, is that it?"

Rose nodded quickly and smiled.

"And I suppose your choice in attire and blinking your eyes like you've just had a _lumos_ shined into them was meant to influence my decision?" asked Scorpius with a smirk.

Rose immediately pouted with a hurt look and crossed her arms, annoyed that her use of her feminine wiles (very feminine wiles, in her opinion!) had no real effect on Scorpius (or so she thought).

Scorpius just laughed at Rose' put-out expression, further irritating her. "Well, fine then Malfoy! If you don't want to help me, just say so!" she bit out, standing quickly.

Scorpius simply grabbed Rose's arm and sat her back down in the chair. "Keep your top on, Weasley. I'll tutor you. It'll give me a chance to practice before the exam too."

"Oh, thank you, thank you Scorpius!" squealed Rose, throwing her arms around his neck and planting a rather firm kiss on him. "I knew I could count on you."

"Agh! Rose, we're in the library!" hissed a red-faced Scorpius, who decided to ignore Rose's 180-degree shift in mood, thinking that the inner workings of Rose's mind and emotions were best left for someone else to dwell upon. Somebody whose grasp on sanity was more tenuous than his own, preferably. "If Pince saw that we'd both be thrown out of here."

"But I'm just so happy. I actually have a hope of passing my OWL now." grinned Rose.

"And the situation is so desperate that you felt the need to dress like _that_ before asking my help?" asked Scorpius with a raised eyebrow. "Perhaps I shouldn't have volunteered."

"Well...one of my dorm-mates let me borrow this muggle device of hers called a WonderBra, and it seemed a shame not to try using it. Look, it gives me the illusion of breasts! Isn't it great?" enthused Rose as she squeezed her chest together, causing Scorpius to twitch involuntarily several times and in several places.

_'What am I getting myself into?' _wondered Scorpius.

* * *

As Rose had asked Scorpius on a Friday, it was decided that her private lessons would start on the following Monday, and take place every evening thereafter. A large, rarely-used classroom on the fourth floor was selected, and Scorpius and Rose began to meet.

To say Scorpius had his work cut out for him was understatement of the highest order.

_Monday._

"Okay Weasley, we're going to start with the basics. I want to you transfigure this quaffle into a watermelon." said Scorpius as he placed the battered old quaffle on the table.

Rose drew her wand and Scorpius backed away to observe Rose's work, as well as create some distance between himself and her unintentionally deadly wand.

Rose shot off the spell, and to nobody's surprise (maybe Rose's) the quaffle simply vanished.

"Weasley, please un-vanish the quaffle."

Rose tried, and only succeeding in summoning a floating plate of pumpkin pasties, probably from the kitchens.

"Weasley, this is no time for games." snapped Scorpius, as Rose began munching a pastry.

"I didn't do it on pshurposh!" muttered Rose around a mouthful of pastry.

The look on Scorpius' face suggested that he didn't believe her.

"I was hungry and thinking about food, okay?" snapped Rose huffily.

"Thankfully, I saw this coming and came prepared." replied Scorpius, placing another battered old quaffle on the table. "If you're quite finished stuffing your face, please try again."

Rose swallowed and tried again. After some coaching and coaxing from Scorpius, as well as his insistence that she "_FOCUS!"_ on the task at hand instead of on him, food, and the latest gossip surrounding her family and friends, and whatever else was running through her head, she successfully transfigured the quaffle into a watermelon.

"Well, it's about time, Weasley." Scorpius' tone of voice suggested annoyance, but the proud grin on his face at his student's success betrayed his happiness.

Rose beamed.

"Now all you have to do is transfigure it back into a quaffle."

Rose tried. The first two attempts yielded nothing.

On the third, the watermelon simply exploded, showering Scorpius, Rose, and the classroom in a combination of green rind and pink mush with black seeds in it.

"Ugh. That's disgusting." grumbled Scorpius.

Rose merely pulled a chunk of watermelon out of her hair and began eating it. "Mmm! It's nice and ripe and sweet, just how I like it."

"I suppose if you eat all of the evidence, nobody will figure out that I stole all of Hufflepuff's practice quaffles." sighed Scorpius.

* * *

_Tuesday._

"What are you doing?" asked Rose as Scorpius muttered incantations and swished his wand over her body and her wand.

"Checking you and your wand for curses and damage." replied Scorpius matter-of-factly.

"Why?"

"Because there's no way anybody could be as bad at wandwork as you and not have something wrong with them."

"Just stop faffing about and get me down from here!" demanded Rose.

She'd accidentally stuck herself to the room's ceiling.

"Just a few more tests." said Scorpius cheerfully.

* * *

_Wednesday._

"Alright Weasley. We're going to go bigger and more complicated today. I want you to transfigure this table into a Wizarding Wireless console."

"I think I can do this." agreed Rose.

On Rose's first attempt, the table turned partially into a Wizarding Wireless system. Faint crackles of static and muddled songs came out of it.

"Not bad, Weasley. Try again."

Rose nodded and did so. Once again, the transformation was correct but incomplete. This time, an oldie from Celestina Warbeck was plainly audible.

"You're almost there." encouraged Scorpius.

"I'll get it this time, just you watch." said Rose before raising her wand again.

As Rose began to wave her wand and recite the Latin, she sneezed.

Not only was the table completely obliterated, but Rose blasted a hole straight through the floor.

Scorpius and Rose both stared on in shock at the carnage, before an angry voice that seemed to be coming from the hole began screeching.

"_WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK IS THIS?"_ screamed the decidedly feminine voice.

Rose and Scorpius crept to the edge of the hole and look over.

Only to discover that they had just blown a hole through the ceiling of the third-floor girls' lavatory.

Where Gertrude Buldstrode-Fletchley was currently using the facilities.

"Merlin sod it all, I should have known it was you, Weasley! Only you could pull off something so daft!" yelled Gertie from her position on one of the toilets, a folded copy of _Witch Weekly_ waving about angrily in her left hand. The stall and Gertrude were also covered in rubble and dust from the aborted spell.

"Er, I'm sorry Gertie. I was just helping Rose study for OWLs and she had a little..."

It was right here where Gertrude realized that Scorpius was present.

And that she was rather exposed from the waist down.

"_EEEEEEEEK! GO AWAY YOU PERVERT!"_ screeched Gertie, as she attempted to cover herself with her magazine.

Scorpius merely placed a hand over his eyes, before raising his wand to cast a _scourgify_ on Gertrude and her stall, and then a _reparo_ on the floor/ceiling itself, which muffled Gertie's yelling.

After completing that task, Scorpius rounded on the silent Rose, who looked rather thoughtful.

"You look as though you have something to say, Weasley."

"You know, Gertie never struck me as the type to go for the full Brazilian. I would've pegged her as the natural sort." said Rose with a finger on her chin.

Scorpius just groaned and facepalmed. "I think that's enough for today Weasley. Just make sure you apologize to Gertrude."

* * *

_Thursday._

"I can't believe I didn't notice it before, Weasley."

"Notice what?" asked Rose.

"Your stance, the way you hold your wand...all of it is simply atrocious."

"Gee, thanks."

"Hold the wand firmly between your thumb and first two fingers, Rose." instructed Scorpius. "And plant your feet better. You stand straight up while you're using your wand and that isn't correct."

"Like this?" asked Rose.

"No! Here, I'll show you."

Scorpius came up behind Rose and pressed himself against her back, reaching around to grab both of her hands.

"First of all, never hold your wand with both hands, you only use..."

Scorpius trailed off as he was enveloped in a slightly cinnamon-tinged scent that he could only describe as _amazing. _

_'Bloody hell, she smells good.'_ he thought, his head swimming as he drank in Rose. It was a few more seconds before he gathered his wits and realized just where he'd placed himself, his eyes widening. He made to pull away.

Rose, who had tensed and frozen at the feel of Scorpius' arms going around her and his breath on her neck and ear, also snapped out of it, tightened her grip on his hands and pulled him even more closely against her back, earning a groan of both arousal and frustration at not being able to escape from Scorpius. "You're awfully close, Scorpius." she breathed, stroking his hand a bit.

"Rose, please..." trailed Scorpius.

"Mmm...Scorp...if this is what you wanted to do up here, why didn't you just say so?" she purred, reaching her left hand down to gently rub the front of his hip, _dangerously_ close to his crotch. If she noticed his stiffening against her, she said nothing about it.

"Rose..." he breathed, trying again to pull away.

Rose was rewarded with a shuddering breath as she began to gently move her arse against his most sensitive zone.

"Stop...please." Scorpius gritted out through his teeth. Rose, understanding that she was forcing Scorpius, let go of his hands and allowed him to pull away from her. He staggered back against a table, and placed his hands against it to steady himself.

Rose looked down at the noticeable bulge at the front of his pants, before looking up to meet his eyes with a smoldering gaze.

"I think that's..._gasp_...enough for today." he breathed out heavily.

Rose said nothing, but nodded and walked towards the door, putting noticeably more sway into her hips than usual, before exiting with one last sultry glance over her shoulder.

As the door closed again, Scorpius began to take calming breaths in an attempt to get his body back under control. He felt like his whole body was on fire and he'd gotten embarrassingly close to leaving a large mess in his pants when Rose began to move against him. Slowly, the tent in his trousers began to drop.

Scorpius idly remembered reading about something muggle doctors called 'pheromones' and wondered if they had been the cause of his distress. Or at least part of it. Another voice piped up in his head to inform him that Rose had simply pushed the right buttons and he'd just _wanted her. _

Scorpius quashed that voice before finally asking himself the most important question.

_'What the bloody hell just happened here?'_ he asked before leaving the room and going back to his dorm for some private time. Perhaps Rose Weasley was better at seduction than he'd guessed after her display the previous Friday.

* * *

_Friday. _

"I'm impressed, Weasley. You haven't blown anything up, vanished anything, summoned any food, or failed to complete any tranfigurations. You may just pass that test yet." said a slightly pink-faced Scorpius as he looked at his student.

"Thanks." Rose's face was also a bit pink. "You've really helped."

Scorpius had not only been surprised when he'd found himself going to their usual meeting place for lessons, but he'd been _shocked_ when Rose turned up too.

After Thursday's _incident_, the two of them hadn't spoken a word to each other.

Even though both had shown up for the tutoring session, it had been awkward and stilted, without much speaking between the two teenagers. Only the bare minimum of communication had occurred. Which had made the lesson seem especially long. That, and the two of them had begun before supper and continued late into the evening, as the test was the following Monday and Rose still wasn't ready.

Still, Rose had done exceptionally well, and now both were reasonably sure that she would pass the practical half of her Transfiguration OWL.

"Now let's just make sure you do as well on your test, hmm?" asked Scorpius with a gentle smile as he and Rose moved the tables and chairs back into position.

"I'll do my best." said Rose quietly. It was odd for the normally vivacious, open girl to be so shy and quiet.

Scorpius wasn't sure if he liked it. He certainly didn't like this awkward atmosphere.

He was about to open his mouth to speak again when a sound interrupted him.

_'GRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOWL!'_

Rose looked mortified at the sound her stomach had just made. She was used to her seven square meals a day and missing supper had left her rather famished.

Scorpius grinned and was about to make a comment, when his own stomach made it's presence known.

_'RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLE!'_

"_Snerk!"_ Rose let out a little snort as she attempted to keep her amusement under control.

Scorpius couldn't keep in a chuckle of his own.

A moment later, both of them were belting out full-blown, bent-over, teary-eyed laughter.

The tension was gone.

"We're hungry." announced Rose through guffaws.

"We are." agreed Scorpius. "But dinner ended four hours ago, the dining hall is closed."

"So what?"

"...How are we supposed to get any food, then?" asked Scorpius.

"You're talking to a Weasley. We _always_ know where to find the food. Come on." Rose grabbed Scorpius' hand and led him away.

A short while later, Rose finally released Scorpius' hand and declared their destination reached. Scorpius wasn't an expert on the castle's layout, but he was fairly certain that they were in a basement, not far from the Hufflepuff dorms.

In front of them was a portrait of fruit and foods.

"Watch and learn, Mr. Malfoy." said Rose, as she began to tickle a pear near the edge of the portrait.

Scorpius' eyes bugged as the pear turned into a doorknob and Rose threw the portrait open with a flourish, revealing a warm, well-lit kitchen bustling with house elves.

"Dinner is served." said Rose as she grabbed Scorpius and shoved him through the opening, following and closing the door behind her.

Scorpius followed, still wide-eyed, as Rose led him to a distant corner of the kitchen, where several rough-wood tables and matching benches were arranged. They sat down next to one another and a moment later, an obviously female house-elf noticed them and ran over.

"Miss Rose! Mindy is happy to see you." the elf said before turning her bright gaze to Scorpius. "Is this the pretty boy Miss Rose always talks about?"

Scorpius bristled a little at being called pretty _yet again, _but said nothing.

"He _is_ the pretty boy Miss Rose always talks about, Mindy." agreed Rose with a grin, a slight blush betraying her nonchalance at the house-elf exposing her. "His name is Scorpius Malfoy and he's as hungry as I am."

"Mindy will bring food immediately! Would Miss Rose like her usual?" asked the excited house-elf.

"I would."

"And what would Mister Scorpius like to eat?" asked the house elf.

"Er...I'll just have what she's having." replied Scorpius, not wanting to be too much of a bother.

"Mindy will have the food very soon!" and with that, the little house elf in the pink dress scuttled off to fetch the grub.

"This is amazing." said Scorpius as he took everything in. The huge bustling kitchen was a sight to behold.

"I like eating down here even more than I do in the Great Hall." agreed Rose.

"I couldn't help but notice how familiar you seem with this place." said Scorpius with a knowing raised eyebrow. "Come here often?"

"All the time! Usually for my 9 o'clock snack...and my midnight snack...and my 4 AM snack..." Rose trailed off as she noticed Scorpius struggling not to snicker.

"Oh sod off! Some of us sleep better on a full stomach!" grumbled Rose, but she didn't look angry.

"I'll bet your parents love it when you go off to Hogwarts!" laughed Scorpius. "Their food expenditures probably drop to nothing!"

"Mum says that my dad has no trouble taking up the slack for me." said Rose before she stuck her tongue out at the giggling blond.

At that second, Mindy returned with two platters of food. Scorpius goggled at the size of the piles of the food on them.

Each plate was laden with several roast beef sandwiches with gravy, pickles, beans, and a couple of pumpkin pasties. Two large goblets of pumpkin juice were placed on the table as well.

After making sure they needed nothing else, Mindy went back to work, leaving Scorpius and Rose to their meals.

"Snack, Rose?" asked Scorpius with a raised eyebrow.

"Sod off." said Rose before biting into her sandwich. "Mmmm. Oh, that's good. Nobody does a better sandwich than Mindy." Scorpius tucked in and had to agree that it _was_ excellent food he was eating, certainly better than the stuff the rest of the student body ate at mealtimes.

They ate in silence for a moment, before Scorpius restarted the conversation.

"Worried about the OWLs next week, Weasley?" he asked around a mouthful of baked beans.

"You know, I've always had perfect marks on my written assignments, so that part I'm perfectly confident about. Mum says I am quite clever with the written word and theory of just about anything. It's when it comes time to actually wave my wand or mix a potion that things go wrong. So, I've been getting help from you and others on the practical knowledge and I'm feeling a lot better now that I have." Rose punctuated by taking a giant bite of a sandwich, gravy going down her chin as she did so. "Why?"

"Just curious. The end of fifth year is almost here and this is the first time I've seen you really buckle down and take school seriously." said Scorpius.

"Give me some credit here, Scorp. Even _I_ know that OWLs are important." Rose swallowed the lump of beef and bread.

"So, who have you been getting help from besides me?"

"Albus for potions, Alice Longbottom for herbology, and Louis for charms." Rose rattled off the list on her fingers.

"Ah. I was wondering why Albus was trying out the 'no-eyebrows' look." Scorpius grinned as he said it.

"Oh, shut up you!" Rose jabbed Scorpius with her elbow, but couldn't hide her smile. "I'll just be glad when this year is done."

"You'll still have NEWTs to deal with." reminded Scorpius.

"I know, but I still plan to veg out and relax after this year is done. I can worry about NEWTs in seventh year."

"That's all you plan to do this summer? Relax and laze about?"

"I'm sure I'll be visiting the rest of my family and friends all the time. And I'm sure my parents will find things for me to do." Rose pulled a bit of a face.

"I'd visit you." Rose looked up. "But you know about the trip I'm going on this summer."

"Of course." Rose looked a bit deflated. "The world tour, right?"

"Right."

"You've not told me much about that." The hidden statement in Rose's words was clear. _Tell me more!_

"We're going to be visiting all of the populated continents, loads of different countries and cities, muggle and wizarding monuments and landmarks, natural formations, all sorts of things. We'll spend the whole of the summer touring. Our reservations at the best hotels are already taken care of, as are our tour guides and routes."

"That sounds really exciting." Rose said wistfully. "All of those different foods to try..." Scorpius laughed. "What made you lot decide to take the trip anyway."

"Well, since...the war...dad and mum have had to work really hard to rebuild the Malfoy name and business in this country. They both desperately need a vacation."

Rose nodded, wisely choosing not to dwell on the war part.

"It also meant that family time was always limited when I was growing up. So, this is something that just the three of us can do, to make up for all the years of not spending enough time together." said Scorpius.

"Not to be rude or pry, but isn't a trip like this rather...expensive?" asked Rose.

"I'm sure it is." agreed Scorpius. "My parents don't generally show me the ledgers..."

"My father said that the Malfoy family's assets were all seized in reparations for...y'know." said Rose quietly.

Scorpius' visage darkened a bit. "Indeed they were, Weasley. The Ministry seized every account, holding, and property of the Malfoy family in this country after my grandfather was rightfully imprisoned for his crimes."

"But, your family clearly isn't hurting for money at all, and you're taking this trip. How...?"

"The Ministry may have seized everything we had in Britain, Weasley. But, they certainly couldn't touch any of our accounts, properties, or holdings in America, Canada, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Germany, Italy, France, Sweden, Japan, China, India, Egypt, South Africa, Australia, or Russia." replied Scorpius with a smirk. I assure you, the Malfoy family's wealth extends far beyond Great Britain's borders."

Rose's eyes widened. "Wow, that does explain a lot. But, if the properties were seized, how do you still live in Malfoy Manor?"

"When the Ministry auctioned off the properties, my father was the only one who bid on them." smirked Scorpius.

Rose barked out a laugh. "You mean that..."

"Right, my father bought them all back for knuts on the galleon. It cost the ministry more to seize the properties than it got for selling them." Scorpius grinned rogueishly.

"Oh Merlin..." Rose chuckled. "That's brilliant!"

"I haven't even told you the best part." replied Scorpius.

"Oh, what's that?"

"My father delivered the payment for the properties to Minister Shacklebolt personally. After paying for his homes and businesses, he filled out a cheque for a hundred-thousand galleons, slipped it into the front pocket of Shacklebolt's robes, and suggested that he 'buy himself something nice, perhaps some robes actually befitting a Minister of Magic.'"

Rose's eyes bugged out for a second, before she fell into raucous laughter. "Oh my bloody Merlin! That's just so...hilariously _arrogant!_ I wish I could've seen Kinglsey's face!" Rose was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her face. "No wonder my father and uncle don't like to talk about you lot!"

Scorpius merely grinned. "Do you have any more invasive questions about my family's finances, Rose?"

"No, I think that's enough." she gasped, brushing away tears from her eyes. "But maybe I would like to know more about you and your family."

So, Scorpius spent the next hour or so telling Rose about his upbringing (two parents, no siblings, never met his grandfather), his goals for the future (finding work as a teacher, then managing the family holdings once his father passed them on), his favorite and least favorite things, and so on, with Rose providing counterpoints of her own life.

After a while, Rose yawned, before looping her arm around his and resting her head on Scorpius' shoulder.

"What are you doing, Weasley?" asked Scorpius.

"Just resting my eyes." she mumbled contentedly as she closed them.

"I'm so glad I could be your pillow, Weasley. I've been told I function best as furniture."

"Soulmates should always provide a comfortable place for their partner to rest. Now shush." instructed Rose as she settled against Scorpius.

"And here I thought you'd forgotten that 'soulmates' nonsense." said Scorpius, yawning a bit himself.

"Never." grinned Rose.

A moment later, she was shallowly breathing, asleep.

By now, most of the house-elves had gone off to bed themselves, and the kitchen remained quiet.

_'She's very...warm.'_ thought Scorpius as he looked down at the girl sleeping by his side. _'I hate to say it, but this is...nice. Perhaps I will stay here. Just for a bit.'_

Scorpius relaxed, and gently laid his head down against Rose's large mane of soft, bushy hair, enjoying the slightly cinnamon scent of it. A moment later, he was asleep as well.

* * *

Mindy, who was taking her last rounds of the kitchen before dimming the lanterns and turning in for th evening, found the pair asleep a few moments later. She smiled and decided not to wake them. After turning the lights down and casting a warming charm on the slumbering teenagers, she quietly made her way out of the kitchen.

_'Mindy thinks Miss Rose and Mister Scorpius will be very happy one day.'

* * *

_

Rose received a low _Exceeds Expectations_ in transfiguration. She didn't even blow up a single watermelon.

* * *

Aww. Mindy, you're such a nice house-elf.

The little Thursday sexual tension extravaganza is about as sexy as the (not actually very sexy) sexytimes in this story will ever get, so I think this falls under the 'T' rating safely. There probably won't be any more scenes like that.

Again, I'm not going to beg for reviews, but I do enjoy getting them, so don't be shy. And, if you do decide to alert/C2/fave my story, you should leave a review saying why, because people who don't do that are a pet peeve of mine.

Thanks for reading! Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long to get up, but I make no promises.


	5. Owls, Breakfasts, Foreign Birds, Parents

Yeah, I'm not good at regular updates of things. Sorry.

I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I'd be chilling in a seafront house on the Iberian peninsula somewhere.

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, CHAPTER 5!

* * *

_San Juan Teotihuacan, Mexico. July. _

Scorpius yawned as he headed down the stairs to breakfast at the rather luxurious villa home his obscenely wealthy family had rented. It was magically hidden from the muggle residents of the town, of course. A home meant for magical tourists with a lot of money.

The Malfoys were currently a month into their world tour of famed historic wizarding sites, and this week had brought them to Mexico, to view the ruins left by the ancient Aztec versions of wizards. This was the last day in Mexico, and the Malfoys were simply going to relax, before tomorrow's portkey to Rio de Janeiro in Brasil.

The trip and it's resulting exposures to different cultures and peoples had been incredibly eye-opening and enlightening for Scorpius, and he'd enjoyed every second of it.

But...

A week or so in, and he'd realized that something was missing. Or rather, someone.

He missed Rose Weasley.

He'd thought it ridiculous at first, missing the pushy, noisy girl... But as time went on, he'd realized that he felt differently when she wasn't around.

The expected tackle-hugs never came when he walked into a room.

Not having to duck and dodge erroneous wayward spells and charms all the time was boring.

Going without getting his ear talked off by her about whatever random encounters and hijinks she'd had that day made the world seem awfully silent.

Trying to keep her bushy red hair out of his face when she insisted on walking close to him had become a rather comforting chore, one which he now missed.

Not experiencing any of those things, or any of Rose's other _peculiarities_ for more nearly two months had left him with a slightly empty feeling he'd struggled to explain.

Still, Scorpius imagined his tone would change again as soon as he got back to Hogwarts.

_One week with Weasley and I'll be thinking about how much I miss this summer._ Scorpius smirked to himself as he thought it.

As he walked into the dining area, he was greeted by a house elf who asked what Scorpius wanted for breakfast with an accented voice, before zipping off to get Scorpius' huevos rancheros.

"Good morning, Scorpius dear!" chirped Astoria as he sat down at the table.

"Morning mum." he leaned over and pecked his mum on the cheek.

"About time you joined us." smirked Draco as he nodded to his son. "Any later and it would've been time for lunch."

"Good morning to you too, father." Scorpius returned the smirk, before tucking into the meal that had materialized before him.

"Scorpius, while you were sleeping, a tired little owl popped in to leave this." Astoria pushed a piece of parchment with a ribbon around it towards her son. "The poor dear was so exhausted he practically fell over into Draco's tea! He must've flown a really long ways."

Scorpius raised an eyebrow and took the parchment. He saw that it was from Rose.

_'Well, think of the devil, and she'll send you an owl.'_ thought Scorpius as he unrolled the parchment, wondering what Rose had sent him.

"Who is it from?" asked Draco as he lifted his teacup to his lips.

"Rose." said Scorpius absently as he began to read.

Astoria snapped to attention as though she'd been hit with an electrocution curse.

"SQUEE! Scorpius!" Astoria shrieked.

Scorpius cringed, realizing what he'd done.

"It's from a girl! You didn't tell us you had a girlfriend! You know, Hogwarts was always so full of pretty girls, and I could never figure out why a handsome boy like you never brought one over for Christmas or for a visit during the summer, and now you've got a girl writing you letters and you never even told your dear old mum..."

"Astoria!" barked Draco, cutting off his rather exuberant wife. "Let the boy read his letter in peace."

"Oh, quit spoiling my fun, Draco!" Astoria waved her hand dismissively at Draco, who huffed in mild irritation. "A mother needs to know about the girls her son sees. Son, how long have you been seeing this Rose girl?"

"Mum, she and I aren't-"

"Is she pretty? I don't want any homely grandkids, Scorpius!"

"Mum, she's...pretty, I guess, but..."

"Is she a Slytherin? Or maybe a Ravenclaw? Do I know her family?" Astoria was getting more excited.

"She's a Gryffindor, but mum-" And Scorpius was getting more frustrated.

"Do you think you'll marry her? You're a bit young, but..."

"MUM!" Scorpius finally yelled, getting her attention.

"What?"

"Rose isn't my girlfriend!" replied an exasperated Scorpius.

"Oh." Astoria looked disappointed. "Is she just your friend, then?"

"She's...I'm...we're..." Scorpius paused for a moment. "It's complicated, mum."

Astoria no longer looked disappointed. "I see." she said with a grin. "I can't wait to meet her, then."

Scorpius just sighed. The only person who could be as annoying as his mother was...

Scorpius nearly fell out of his chair when he realized what name he was going to finish that sentence with. _'Bloody hell, they're a lot alike...'_

"What family is this Rose from?" asked Draco with a raised eyebrow. He felt like he'd heard the name before.

"Er...she's a Weasley." said Scorpius in a small voice.

Draco's eyes widened and he sucked in a big breath, before suddenly relaxing and sagging a bit. "Oh really?"

"Yes. She's Ron and Hermione Weasley's daughter." said Scorpius, wondering how his father would react.

Draco just sighed in an _extremely _tired manner and went back to his specially-delivered copy of _The Prophet._ "I suppose I should've seen that coming." he said in a resigned manner.

Scorpius just blinked.

"Oh Draco..." said Astoria before giggling and turning to her son. "Make sure you send her an owl too, Scorpius."

"Yes, mum." said Scorpius before finally getting to read his parchment.

_Scorpius Malfoy, you utter prat! I've been waiting all summer for you to owl me and you haven't sent anything! You'd better reply to this or I'm going to cast a jelly-legs curse on you when I see you next! And with my luck, it'll probably make your toes fall off, so write! I can't have my soulmate going around with no toes. _

Scorpius bit back a bit of guilt. At the start of the trip, he'd been so excited about seeing everything that he'd simply forgotten to write his sort of friend/occasional lovestruck stalker/sometimes bane of existence. He was happy to have Rose out of his hair for a while, but he _had_ said he would write her.

_Anywho, is your trip going well? I was hoping you'd tell me all about the places you've seen but I don't even know where you've been! You'll have to tell me about all the places you've been to. And bring photos back._

Scorpius looked over at the pile of moving pictures his family had already taken. That wouldn't be a problem.

_I've been mostly lazing around with Albus, when he's not off 'visiting' Alice Longbottom. I swear, if he gets that girl pregnant I'm going to have to avada him. They're doing really well, though. I think she'll be part of the family within 5 years. _

Scorpius smiled. He was glad that Albus and his ex were working out well. He'd hoped they would when he set them up in the first place.

_Hugo is Hugo. A git, of course. Mum and Dad are good too. I haven't yet told them that you and I are spending so much time together, but I'm sure I will before summer is out. I'm sure my dad will start yelling or do something silly, and then mum will tell him to stop being a prat, and he won't, and then mum will stop having sex with him until he stops being a prat. _

Scorpius groaned. _'Rose Weasley, master of too much information, strikes again.'_

_And speaking of the family, we've been going to the Burrow a lot. I wanted to bring you there this summer so you could meet everyone, but I suppose it will have to wait. _

Scorpius gulped at _that_ thought. Rose was difficult enough to deal with at times. Imagining a whole family of Weasleys and their offshoots together in one place and having to navigate through them made Scorpius shudder involuntarily. He could only imagine how much fun _that_ would be.

_I can't wait for sixth year to start! It'll be great not having a big exam looming immediately on the horizon. _

_And I really can't wait to see you again. _

In spite of himself, Scorpius smiled broadly. Somehow it felt good to know that she missed him too. Of course, flobberworms would fly before he ever said that out loud to her. Maybe in writing, though...

_I'm almost out of ink, so I suppose my owl ends here. See you soon, Scorpius. Kisses! _

Just imagining Rose Weasley's previous kisses made Scorpius blush a little bit.

_Love, Rose_

_PS Keep your hands off of the foreign birds. _

Scorpius fought back a chuckle.

He'd been so absorbed in reading the letter, that he'd not noticed Astoria quietly excuse herself to the bathroom so she could bathe and get herself ready for the day. As Scorpius made to leave the table, intending to go to his bedroom and write Rose a reply, Draco coughed quietly, catching his son's attention.

"Father?"

"So...Ron Weasley's daughter is your 'complication' then?" Draco asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"She's...she's just...I don't know what she is, to be honest." replied Scorpius, not meeting his father's eyes.

"Are you courting her or aren't you?"

Scorpius waffled a moment, before quailing under his father's gaze and telling him about his misadventures with Rose Weasley, and that she was eagerly waiting for him to return from his trip.

By the end of it all, Draco's expression had gone from stern, to somewhat bemused.

"...and she told me not to mess around with any girls I meet on this trip. As if I've even had the chance, with you and mum around all time." finished Scorpius.

Draco merely chuckled, before standing to leave the room and join his wife in preparing for the day. "Son, I'm not sure what exactly to say about your situation, but I do have a galleon's worth of free advice."

"And that is?"

"If a woman _thinks_ you and her are together, the two of you _are_ together. Trust me." replied Draco, before clapping his son on the shoulder and walking away.

* * *

_Two days later. The Ron and Hermione Weasley residence in Ottery St. Catchpole._

"Rosie! Quit eating the pumpkin pasties! You won't have any room for the breakfast I've prepared!" chided Hermione as her daughter continued to snack on her favorite treat instead of waiting for the (sort of) healthy breakfast Hermione had prepared.

Hermione knew how rare it was to have time to bond with her daughter and husband together, since she was constantly working at the Ministry, and the rest of her family had their own things to do. A chance to cook them breakfast and spend time with them was not something she wanted cut short, not even by her daughter's pumpkin pasty addiction.

"It's just a pre-breakfast snack, mum. You know, to get me ready for it." replied Rose as she took another big, pumkin-y bite. "Mmm..."

Hermione just rolled her eyes and continued preparing the frittata while Ron used his wand to slice and toast some bread. When it came to appetite, it was like father, like daughter in this house.

Shortly thereafter, the trio gathered around the kitchen table to eat a simple meal of frittata, fresh fruit, and some toast. Hugo had left the night before to spend a week at Ronnie Wood's house with a few other mates, which Rose was thankful for.

Hugo was clearly itching to tell Ron and Hermione of her sort-of relationship with Scorpius Malfoy, and only constant threats from Rose prevented it.

"Mmff...thish is good, mum." said Rose around a mouthful of egg, sausage, and pepper.

"Yeah Shermione, thish is brilliants!" agreed Ron around his own, bigger mouthful.

"Close your mouths while you're chewing and don't speak with your mouths full! I swear, the two of you..." Hermione shook her head, even though she was smiling.

Ron and Rose both had the decency to look sheepish, and return to their meals in a slightly more dignified manner.

A few more minutes of eating and family small-talk were interrupted by a massive silver and black owl with red eyes swooping in and landing on Hugo's unoccupied chair, which was right next to Rose's.

The owl let out a deep, booming hoot and waggled it's leg at Rose, urging her to remove the parchment attached to it.

"Goodness, that's the largest owl I've ever seen!" said Hermione as she stared, wide-eyed.

Rose untied and unfurled the parchment, before gasping. "It's from Scorpius!" she chirped excitedly, immediately setting to reading the letter.

Ron looked up sharply.

"Scorpius?" asked Ron warily. "Scorpius Malfoy."

"Of course! Who else would name their kid Scorpius but the Malfoys?" said Rose cheerfully.

As Ron attempted to formulate a response suitable for the scene playing out before him, the huge howl hooted again, before swooping across the table, nipping Ron's hand, stealing the fork that was in said hand when Ron dropped it, and flying out the window with it's prize, hooting in triumph.

"OI! Merlin's saggy balls, that stupid bird bit me!" yelped Ron, before using his wand to repair his hand.

Hermione took advantage of Ron's distraction to speak with her daughter. How could she not? It was such a golden opportunity! Mother/daughter girl-talk with her Rose was something Hermione felt she'd never had enough of a chance to do. And about boys no less. Hermione jumped at the chance to hear what Rose had to say about Scorpius.

"You and Scorpius Malfoy are exchanging letters?" she asked gently.

"Yeah. He's on this world tour with his parents right now, and I asked him to owl me. Of course, he never did, so I sent an owl two days ago. Looks like he's responded pretty quickly." replied Rose with a grin.

"Is Scorpius your friend?"

Ron meanwhile had returned to his meal, content to listen closely while his wife handled the interrogating.

"He's...he's...he's a few things at the moment, I reckon." said Rose, looking a bit lost and sheepish for it. "We spend a lot of time together, but-"

"A few things?" Hermione raised an eyebrow, but didn't lose her patient look.

"Well, he's Al's best friend, for a start, so I've seen a lot of him since day one. We met on the train, all three of us. He and I were never really friends...just always together. Sometimes he helps me with my studies..." Rose was beginning to ramble.

"And now the two of you are exchanging summer letters?" asked Hermione with a small smile.

"This is the first time." replied Rose quickly. "I was hoping I could bring him around this summer so he could meet everyone, but I guess that just won't happen. So far, he's only met Albus' parents and the school cousins."

"You want the family to meet him? Are the two of you...together?" asked Hermione, finally. Ron's head perked up again.

"No." said Rose sadly, before continuing. "I'm trying though. I intend to have him snatched up for myself before graduating, but he's just so hard-headed and stubborn sometimes. Men. Psshh!" said Rose, grinning at her mother as she did.

Ron's mouth dropped open.

Hermione glanced at her own husband and had to stifle a chuckle.

"What's this boy like, Rose?" asked Hermione, as Ron spluttered, trying but unable to force words out.

"He's rather serious all the time, not as bad as Uncle Percy, but the two of them would probably get on well."

Hermione nodded.

"He's a Slytherin, but I think he should have been a Ravenclaw. He's really bright and he reads all the time. He's the reason I got an O on my transfiguration OWL, in fact. He tutored me for days and asked nothing in return."

Hermione smiled, liking what she was hearing.

"He's nice to most people, though he's usually a bit irritated with me. I suppose he can't help it...I mean, I've accidentally turned his hair blue, set him on fire in Potions, I eat all of his pumpkin pasties, I won't let him sit with the Slytherins to eat, I accidentally destroyed a bookshop while he and I were in Hogsmeade..."

Hermione's eyes widened as Rose mentioned _that. _

"He's a prefect for Slytherin, and he never seems to get in trouble...he's kind of boring in that way, really..." mused Rose, looking thoughtful for a moment. "He also loves Scotch eggs."

"He sounds like a nice enough young man." said Hermione.

"He is...I just wish he'd open up to me a little more. I mean, I've kissed him a time or two and judging by his reactions, I _think_ he fancies me a _little_ at least, but I just can't get him to move forward with me. I don't know why." Rose sighed.

Ron continued to turn red and splutter.

"Just keep trying, dear." Hermione smiled encouragingly, which her daughter appreciated.

"Thanks mum."

"And what does he look like? A lot like Draco, I'd expect?"

"_Oh mum!"_ breathed Rose excitedly. "He's _so_ pretty! He hates it when I say that, but there's no other way I can put it."

"Oh?"

"He's tall and slim, a bit taller than me. And he's pale like most Malfoys, with the gray eyes and white hair. And he wears glasses. But his face! He's got such a delicate nose and high cheekbones...and his jaw...and his _smile! Mmmm._"

Rose drifted off into la-la land for a moment.

"Ahem!" Hermione regained her daughter's attention.

"Huh? Oh! Right. He looks a little like his father, I guess. He's not nearly as...pointy...though." Rose looked sheepish a moment, before grinning conspiratorially at her mother. "I think he's got the best arse in the school, but I might be biased."

Hermione didn't even bother to stifle the laugh.

Rose's last comment was the raindrop that finally broke, the dam, as Ron finally began to speak.

"But! A Malfoy, Rose? A _Malfoy!_ Didn't you even hear what I said when you were eleven? This is exactly what I said not to do!" Ron yelped.

"Oh come off it, dad. I've known him for nearly five years and he's a perfect gentleman."

Ron looked dubious.

"He dated Uncle Neville's daughter, and she has nothing but nice things to say about him. He's the one who set Albus and Alice up on their first date, even!" challenged Rose, causing Ron's eyebrow to lift.

_'He dated Alice? And Neville didn't kill him?'_

"But...but...he's a _Malfoy!_ Do you even know what his family did? What happened to your mother in their house?" Ron pleaded.

"I don't think Scorpius had much to do with _that_." replied Rose angrily.

"I don't want you to see him!" squawked Ron angrily.

"Well, that makes you the only one! Everyone else at Hogwarts and Uncle George and Uncle Fred's portrait and Mum don't seem to have any problem with it!" snapped Rose, her face turning red and her eyes flashing.

Ron gaped.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm off to read my letter now!" ground out Rose, before stalking out of the room.

Ron watched her go, before sinking into his seat and sighing. "Hermione, what do I do?" he asked his wife.

"You will apologize to your daughter before supper, and you'll hold your judgment about this boy until we meet him. He seems perfectly reasonable to me. I already like him better than _Luna's _boy." said Hermione.

Ron groaned. "But..."

Ron looked into his wife's piercing gaze and felt the fight go out of him. "You're not going to make love to me again until I make nice with Rose, are you?"

Hermione merely smiled faintly.

Ron sighed. "All right..."

Rose grumpily sat on her bed after throwing her door closed. Her father could be such a prat sometimes.

She'd expected a ridiculous explosion, but somehow him acting like her being with Scorpius was an upset of the logical order, and that her doing it was some sort of childish misbehavior rather than just an outrage was even worse.

Oh well. She had Scorpius' owl to read. A perfect upside to the situation. She re-unfolded the parchment and began to read it properly.

_Rose Weasley, you pushy woman who never gives me a moment's peace!_

Rose grinned.

_I'm sorry about not writing. I got so excited by everything I was seeing and doing that I simply forgot to write you. I would tell you about all that I've done on this trip, but I'd much rather show you copies of the moving photographs my mum has taken and tell you about each of them in person, so you'll just have to wait. _

Something about the personal nature of Scorpius privately showing her the pictures and telling the stories behind them only to her made Rose's heart beat a little more firmly.

_Currently I'm in Mexico, in a town called San Juan Teotihuacan. There are a lot of Aztec ruins nearby, in particular a few magic ones that are hidden from muggle eyes. It's really interesting, did you know that the Aztec wizards used carved stones instead of wands to cast their spells? Amazing! We'll be headed for South America by the time you read this, I reckon. Don't worry, I didn't meet any Aztec birds worth bringing home, but maybe I'll meet a Brasillian one? _

_Just kidding._

_Maybe._

Rose's eye twitched.

_My mother and father are exactly as they normally are. Father is dour, and mum is entirely too excitable. You should have seen her reaction when I received your owl at breakfast. Oh, and my parents know about you and I being acquaintances now. It actually went rather well. Father seemed amused and mum was thrilled. Whatever. _

Rose felt a bit saddened at 'acquaintances'. Surely she and Scorpius were more than that by now? Sigh.

_I'm sure meeting the entirety of your family at once will be something I won't be able to forget, no matter how hard I try. _

'_You can't even begin to imagine, Scorpius.' _thought Rose with a grin.

_Anyway, believe it or not, I do miss you and look forward to seeing you again at Hogwarts. I wouldn't mind exchanging a few more letters either. Hope to hear from you soon! _

_Scorpius_

_PS Don't worry, my parents being around all the time rather kills the mood for any foreign birds I meet. As does my looking like a peeling tomato thanks to all of the sun I've already received on this trip. _

_PPS The owl's name is Hera. Don't let her get near any shiny objects if you ever want to see them again.  
_

Rose leaned back against her bed with a grin, clutching the parchment to her chest. _'Scorpius misses me!' _

Suddenly, Rose felt a lot more eager for sixth year to begin.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! It's not my favorite of the chapters I've written so far, but I don't think I want to work with this chapter anymore, so I just gave up.

If you feel inclined, click my screenname and check out/review my other stories if you haven't already!


	6. Misunderstanding, Disaster

Hello, readers! Sorry it took so long to update, but here's a sixth chapter – just for you! It'll be a shorter one, as are a lot of the chapters following it.

I own nothing related to Harry Potter.

As usual, please review if you alert/fave my story. Or, even if you didn't! Just tell me what you thought, good or bad.

* * *

"...and then when I was six, I stole my dad's broom and flew all the way to Calais. I didn't mean to of course, I only wanted to go to Grandma Molly's, but I didn't know how stop..."

As was normally the case, Scorpius, now in his sixth year at Hogwarts, was eating his breakfast at the Gryffindor table, in his designated seat across from Rose Weasley, his sometimes friend and always stalker with a crush.

And tuning her out as she told another of her rambling, occasionally disturbing stories about her childhood.

A moment later, a quiet, slightly frightened gasp from Rose's right caused Scorpius to look up from his grapefruit and glance to where the noise had come from. The source of the noise turned out to be Rose's younger brother, Hugo.

The slim, freckle-faced, curly-haired fifth year looked positively frightened, and when Scorpius looked further down the table, he could see why.

Orchid Finnegan, Hugo's fellow fifth year Gryffindor, was moving towards them, with her bright blue eyes firmly locked onto Hugo's brown ones.

Scorpius really didn't mind Orchid. She was a bit of a gossiping airhead, and the way she'd told...more or less the entire school... that Rose Weasley considered him to be her 'soulmate' was irritating. And she had an odd habit of disappearing once a month. But, otherwise, she seemed like any other 16 year old girl at Hogwarts.

Except for the way she moved. Most girls tended to sway a bit as they moved, while Orchid seemed to...stalk...like a dangerous animal closing in on it's prey. And as Scorpius watched her smile widely at Hugo, he couldn't help but notice how pronounced and sharp her canine teeth seemed to be...

_'Are her pupils slitted vertically? No, that's impossible... it's got to be a trick of the light.' _ thought Scorpius as he watched Orchid shove Lucy Weasley to the side and sit _very_ close to Hugo.

"Hey!" sniffed Lucy.

"Hi Hugo!" chirped Orchid in her charming Irish brogue, ignoring Lucy completely. "You're just the bloke I wanted to see."

Hugo turned beet red and stuttered as she said it. Not because of her words, but because she'd grasped his arm and pressed her (rather ample) chest against it as she did.

By this point, Rose had stopped speaking as well, and was watching with amused interest as her little brother was made victim of the feminine charms of Orchid Finnegan.

"H-h-hello, Orchid!" gasped Hugo, tugging on his collar as he said it. "What did you need?"

"You know how we have our OWL tests this year, right?" breathed Orchid as she played with the curly hairs on the back of his head.

"R-r-right!" stuttered Hugo, sweat beginning to form at his brow.

"You see, I'm just rubbish at potions or runes, and since you're the brightest boy in our year, I thought maybe you could give me some..._private..._tutoring sessions at night."

Hugo's eyes nearly flew out of his head as she whispered the word 'private' into his ear, much to the amusement of every other Weasley and Potter boy sitting at the table.

"That would be f-f-f-fine, Orchid." replied Hugo, squirming a bit as she ran her index finger up and down his arm.

Orchid grinned widely and let out a noise that Scorpius supposed was meant to have been a satisfied purr, but came out sounding rather more like a big dog growling, which made for a slightly alarming effect when combined with her large canines being exposed.

"You're so sweet, Hugo!" she cried, before hugging him firmly and planting a wet kiss on his cheek, which caused Hugo to go that much more red. "_I'll see you later."_

As Orchid made her exit, flipping her light brown hair as she did, Rose and Scorpius looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

"Oi, Hugo! If you've got any questions about what to do during those 'private tutoring sessions', just come ask me and Fred!" hooted James Potter as Fred Weasley cackled with laughter.

"Sh-shut up!" snapped the perpetually innocent Hugo Weasley, blushing furiously as he did. It did not stop Fred and James from laughing.

Rose put her index finger to her lips in thought. "There's something odd about that Finnegan girl, but I just can't put my finger on what it is."

_'Apart from how she growls like a dog and stalks about like a wolf?'_ thought Scorpius. But, before he could say anything, all of the hooting and catcalling that Rose's male relatives was silenced by an extremely angry male voice.

"I KNOW IT WAS YOU, WEASLEY!"

Every single Weasley (and Potter) at the table turned to see an extremely irate Sharad Thomas stomping towards the table, his yellow and black Hufflepuff tie slung over his shoulder.

Roxanne Weasley grinned as her perpetual prank victim approached the table.

But the grin didn't hide her blush, either.

"Er, you're going to have to be a bit more specific, mate." replied Louis Weasley with a grin. "There are quite a few of us."

"You!" snapped Sharad as he pointed at Roxanne, his usually brown face turning red with anger. "I know you're the one who did this!"

As he said it, the sixth-year Hufflepuff reached into his school bag and yanked out a pair of black boxer's shorts that were emblazoned with golden snitches.

As his hand closed around the underwear, a rather odd thing happened.

They began to sing.

_'Roooooxanne! You don't have to put on the red light...'_

"Every single pair! As soon as I touch them, every single pair of my shorts starts to sing this ruddy song!" cried Sharad, his curly black hair quivering as he shook with anger.

Nearly the entirety of the Gryffindor table was howling with laughter at this point.

_'You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right...ROOOOXANNE!'_

"And you think _I_ did this? _Moi_?" asked Roxanne, trying (and failing) to affect an innocent look.

"Even if the song you've charmed them to sing _didn't have your name in it_, playing this sort of prank on me is EXACTLY the sort of thing you like to do." grumbled Sharad.

Scorpius didn't really speak much to Sharad Thomas, but he knew a few things about him. He knew that Sharad was a very well-behaved Hufflepuff, that both of his parents were friends of the Potter and Weasley families, that his mother was a stunningly beautiful Indian woman, and that his father had once played muggle football for some club in London.

And that he was a constant victim of Roxanne Weasley's prank machinations. And that he _hated_ being the victim of said pranks.

"So, you're saying that I somehow snuck into the Hufflepuff dorms, found your things, rifled through them, and then charmed all of your underpants to sing an old Muggle song when you touch them?" asked Roxanne. "Sounds a bit far-fetched to me." she grinned.

_'I won't share you with another boy...ROXANNE!'_

"Roxanne, the only way this could more obviously be your doing, is if you'd left a giant flashing sign above it saying 'ROXANNE WEASLEY DID THIS!'" snarked Sharad as he shoved the underwear back into his bag, silencing their singing. "Frankly, I'm surprised you don't leave a signature and a lipstick kiss on your work."

"Well, you don't have to throw it in my face like that. The truth hurts, Thomas." replied Roxanne, crossing her arms imperiously. Of course, the grin on her face made it rather difficult for her to pretend to be offended at the accusations.

Rose and Scorpius both had to stifle sniggering at the antics of Rose's family.

"Oi, wait a second, Thomas!" piped up Louis Weasley from further down the table. "If all of your undercrackers are charmed to sing when you wear them, does that mean you've had to go commando today?"

The entire family looked on with interest.

Sharad merely turned beet red again, before snapping "Bah! You're all a bunch of nutters! I'm leaving!" and stalking away.

"Oi! Wait a sec, Sharie! It was just a joke, I can fix it!" called Roxanne as she jumped up to follow the irate Hufflepuff.

"Don't call me 'Sharie!'" was the last thing any of them heard before Roxanne and Sharad disappeared through the doors.

A second later, the entire table erupted into laughter again.

As the hooting and hollering died down, Scorpius finished his meal and began to gather his things.

"Well Weasley, as entertaining as it is to watch the bizarre mating rituals of your family, I'm afraid I need to be going. Double potions this morning. But, I'll see you later in transfiguration, yeah?" said Scorpius to Rose as he stood up.

Rose nodded, before calling "Oi! Scorpius!" as he began to make his exit. Scorpius turned around, only to have Rose grab his necktie and yank him downwards.

"Hurk!"

Rose had pulled him down to peck him on the lips. Which she did, before grinning and letting go of Scorpius' clothes.

He blushed even more furiously than Sharad had, and spluttered, trying to ignore the catcalls coming from James, Fred, and Louis.

"See you later, dear." said Rose with a grin.

"Er, yeah. Bye." said Scorpius before turning around and rushing away in embarrassment.

And almost running over a small Ravenclaw girl who had been approaching behind him.

Linda Mansell was a fifth year Ravenclaw, and a muggleborn. Her very pale face and black eyes were usually hidden behind a rather thick curtain of jet-black hair but today she'd tied it back into a simple ponytail.

Scorpius had to admit that she was pretty when her face was visible.

Linda looked very uncomfortable, now that she'd seen Rose kiss Scorpius, but she took a breath and stepped forward.

"Er, here, Scorpius." said said, before pressing a small, folded piece of parchment into his hand, and quickly walking away. Not noticing Rose glaring at her back as she did.

Scorpius just walked away, waving to the Weasleys and Potters as he left.

After making his way out of the hall, Scorpius unfolded the parchment and read it.

_Hello, Scorpius_

_Could you meet me at the statue of Newt Scamander after supper?_

_Linda_

Scorpius raised his eyebrow. He supposed he would meet her, and he suspected that he knew what she was going to ask, but he would most likely have to disappoint her.

And now he was late to potions, so it was time to get a move on.

* * *

That afternoon found Scorpius making his way towards his transfiguration class, which he shared with the sixth-year Gryffindors, including Rose.

_'What am I going to do about Linda? If she asks me out, what am I going to do? She seems nice and everything, but Rose would probably be really upset if I...'_

Scorpius tried to ignore the fact that he was thinking so hard about Rose Weasley's feelings even though he wasn't technically dating her.

_'Maybe I'll just tell her that I really am dating Rose. The whole school thinks I am anyway. And, maybe...Weasley isn't so bad.'_

Scorpius blushed slightly as he thought about the goodbye peck from this morning. He could feel the heat on his face and cursed his fair complexion.

As he made his way towards Professor McGonagall's classroom, he heard a familiar voice speaking around the corner.

_'That's Rose!' _thought Scorpius, with a degree of excitement that would've been unheard of a year prior when referring to Rose Weasley.

But, then he heard another voice mention his name, and he stopped dead in his tracks.

Scorpius knew eavesdropping was rude, but he couldn't help it.

"I can't believe you're so hung up on Scorpius Malfoy." replied a smooth male voice. Scorpius recognized it as belonging to Lysander Scamander.

"He does have a rather worrying number of nargles in his brain at all times." agreed a voice similar to the first, only much more spacey and dreamy.

_'That'll be Lorcan.'_ thought Scorpius. Lorcan was the Ravenclaw to Lysander's Gryffindor. He was also Rose's ex-boyfriend, perhaps unsurprisingly.

"He's such a git!" continued Lysander. "He never does anything but study or take points away from Gryffindors when he's on prefect duty!"

"That's true. He can be a git" agreed Rose.

Scorpius' eyes narrowed.

Lysander continued on. "He's always looking down his nose at people, especially Gryffindors! He never cuts anyone a break when he catches them in the halls at night. He's sarcastic when people ask him questions..."

"I think he's the one who stole the Hufflepuff quaffles." Lorcan interjected in his dreamy voice. "I bet he plans to use them for bronksluggle bait. They love to chew on leather during their mating season..."

"He's not even that good-looking, just tall and scowling all the time. And he says Quidditch is a stupid waste of time!" said Lysander with an air of finality. Murder, arson, and jaywalking indeed.

Scorpius rolled his eyes. He looked down his nose because he was taller than everyone. And prefects aren't there to be nice to rule-breakers. '_And disliking quidditch isn't a crime!'_

But, his annoyance went quite a bit deeper when Rose again agreed with Lysander, even sounding a little amused as she did.

Scorpius scowled.

"But the worst thing is that he's a Malfoy." grumbled Lysander, quieter now. "They say that his family has reformed, but I say bollocks. Once Death Eaters, always Death Eaters. You know he doesn't have any muggleborn friends. And he's still a Slytherin. You know how _they_ are."

Scorpius began to turn red with anger, but he nearly choked when Rose replied.

"Well, yes...but..."

Scorpius had heard enough. He whirled around and stalked away, fuming.

_'I suppose I would find out eventually what Weasley REALLY thinks of me! Must be some kind of long-running joke with her family.'_

Which, of course, meant he never heard the rest of Rose's response.

"...I think you're wrong, and being unfair, Lysander." said Rose. "Scorpius has never said anything about blood status and I don't think he cares. And if my father and Uncle Harry say the Malfoys have changed their ways for the better, I believe it."

Lysander snorted.

"Most of his friends are related to me, so I don't think it's fair to say he doesn't like muggleborns. He doesn't treat them any differently than anyone else. And you shouldn't generalize about the Slytherins like that."

"He's still a creep." disagreed Lorcan.

"He...can be a bit...testy...at times. But, I know him quite well, and he's actually a very patient, sweet bloke when he wants to be. If he wasn't, he'd have hexed me to bits long ago for the things I've done to him. He can be mean, but he always helps people when they need it. And I think he's perfectly good looking. I really fancy him a lot...you could say I'm starting to lov..."

"Fine then." snapped Lysander jealously as he cut Rose off. "Just go off and marry Death Eater Jr. then!" before he swept into the classroom.

"Oh, my. I'm afraid my brother wishes _he_ was the object of your affections, rather than Mr. Malfoy." said Lorcan airily, before wandering off in the other direction, talking to himself.

Rose groaned.

As she settled into her place in the classroom, saving a seat for Scorpius as she always did, she realized something was wrong.

_'Where is Scorpius? He should've been here ten minutes ago.' _

He never showed up, leaving Rose to worry about him for the remainder of McGonagall's lesson.

* * *

Supper that evening turned out to be the first time in years that Scorpius didn't sit with the Gryffindors. When Rose came to collect him, she was shocked at his hostility.

"Scorpius! Why weren't you in transfiguration today?" she asked as she approached the Slytherin table.

"I...had other things to do." growled Scorpius, not looking up.

Rose blinked, taken aback at the nastiness of the response. Something was wrong.

"Well, why don't you come sit with me, then? I can tell you what you missed." she offered.

"I'd rather sit here tonight."

"Please, Scorpius?" she asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you come over to the table and talk to me, tell me what's wrong..."

"No."

"Scorpius...?" she gave a gentle tug on his shoulder.

Scorpius swatted her hand away, before smashing his fist down on the table, leaving Rose shocked and garnering a lot of attention from the surrounding students.

"Dammit Weasley! I want to sit here! Leave me alone!" he snapped.

Now Rose was angered.

"Just what is your _problem_, Scorpius?" she bit back.

"You bloody well know what my problem is, you two-faced harpy! How much longer are you going to keep lying to my face, anyway? The joke isn't funny anymore!" he snapped.

"_WHAT?"_

"Quit talking to me, Weasley and just GO AWAY! I don't want to speak to you anymore. I don't even want you near me."

With that, Scorpius grabbed his bag and stormed away from the Slytherin table and out of the dining hall, leaving a shell-shocked Rose standing there with her mouth hanging open and tears beginning to form in her eyes. All of Rose' relatives watched dumbfounded as Scorpius stalked away from Rose, wondering what had just happened.

Rose seemed to realize at that moment that everyone else was staring at her, so she quickly hurried back to her own table and sat down. After a few seconds, she had to fight back the sobbing that was beginning to overtake her.

Albus and Hugo tried to console her, but Rose barely noticed.

_'What just happened? What did Scorpius mean? He was so angry...'_

* * *

Scorpius _was_ so angry. So angry that he almost stormed right past Linda Mansell, who had been waiting for him on a stone bench near the small statue of Newt Scamander that guarded one of the school's many hallways.

As she'd been waiting there, she'd missed the blowup in the dining hall.

"Scorpius!" called Linda as he neared.

Scorpius' head shot up at the voice, and he stopped when he saw who it was.

"Oh, hello Linda. I read your note..."

Even Scorpius thought it sounded lame.

"Yes. My note...thanks for coming." said Linda with a bit of pink forming on her pale cheeks as she twiddled her fingers together a bit. "There was something I wanted to ask you..."

"Yes?"

"The Hogsmeade weekend that's coming up...I wondered if maybe...you'd like to go with me? Alone." she asked, clearly embarrassed. "I would've asked this morning, but with all of the Weasleys there, I was a bit embarrassed to do it...Fred and James would have said something..." she began to ramble a bit, out of shy nerves.

Scorpius had been expecting this, to be honest. He'd also expected to have to turn her down gently. But, after what Rose and Lorcan had said earlier, he wasn't feeling particularly kind towards Rose Weasley at the moment. He certainly wouldn't be going to Hogsmeade with _her._

_'Oh, why not? I've nothing to lose.'_

"I'd love to go with you." said Scorpius, breaking Linda out of her nervous mumbling.

Gasp! "You would?"

"Sure." replied Scorpius with a small smile, thankful that Linda had not brought up Rose or his supposed (and non-existent) relationship with her. "I'm sure it will be fun."

"Oh! Well, great! I'll see you then! And maybe...tomorrow?" she asked hopefully.

"We can have breakfast together." agreed Scorpius.

"Great! Erm, goodnight!" she chirped, before speeding off towards Ravenclaw tower, leaving Scorpius to make his way back to the dungeons quietly.

* * *

It had been days since the blowup in the dining hall, and Rose was still confused as to why Scorpius had been so angry. And why he refused to speak wit her...or even look at her.

_'Could I have done something? What, though?' _she kept asking herself.

On the day of the Hogsmeade weekend, Rose had planned to just stay in her dorm all day and eat chocolate frogs and pumpkin pasties (_lots_ of pumpkin pasties). but Fred, Molly, and Dominique had forcibly dragged her out to Hogsmeade.

At first, Rose had appreciated it. The time-honored tradition of Weasleys who didn't have dates spending the Hogsmeade trips together had somewhat taken her mind off of the friction between her and her 'soulmate'.

Until she'd gone to the Three Broomsticks and seen Scorpius and Linda chatting amiably over butterbeers through the window.

Rose stared for a moment, before she'd begun to sniffle and tears began running down her cheeks.

Dominique took one look through the window, and when she saw Scorpius, she'd immediately understood.

She gently rubbed Rose's back and used a handkerchief to wipe the tears that were dripping down.

"Maybe we should try the Hog's Head." she said quietly.

Fred and Molly nodded and they made their way quietly towards the dingy old pub, the three of them gently trying to console their normally irrepressible cousin.

Scorpius and Linda had never even seen them.

* * *

Another chapter in the books!

I wrote and re-wrote the encounter with Lysander about 40 times, and it's still shit. It would always end up too mean, or too wordy, or making Lysander look nastier than I wanted him to...blargh. Oh well. And then I had to go back after I'd already uploaded and re-edit, because I mixed Lorcan and Lysander up. Herp Derp.

And to think Rose was so close to landing her man... It's never that easy though.

Thanks for reading!


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